He's like the wind
by AbigailKinney4life
Summary: Justin Taylor and his upper-middle class family take a summer holiday to Pittsburgh's Dance and Leisure Park. But what happens when Justin begins to fall for the park's lower-class, but gorgeous dance instructor, Brian Kinney? Inspired by Dirty dancing x
1. Chapter 1 Who's that guy?

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip, I also do not own the film Dirty Dancing.

A/N: Okay, I should probably explain myself here... I was watching Dirty Dancing for the millionth time (like ya do), and it occurred to me how amazing it would be in the QAF universe. I just want to clarify that this fic won't be exactly like the film, and this is not crossover, this is just my weird brain doing things LOL. Should also point out that this is a Justin POV fic, unless I decide to change it later on. Hope you enjoy, if you review I will give you a million hugs and kisses x

P.S, in this fic, Justin is from Chicago instead of Pittsburgh and he is 18 years old, Brian is 25. X

P.P.S, Justin has his long hair!

Chapter 1: Who's that guy?

I looked out of the back of my Dad's dark blue BMW X5 as we approached the front gates of the holiday resort. The gates were rather towering, but in a pleasant, white picket fence sort of way. I had just finished my first year of the Chicago Institute of Fine Arts and my parents had decided to treat me and my sister by bringing us to the Pittsburgh Dance and Leisure Park.

"It's the best Leisure park in the state of Pennsylvania." My Dad had declared.

When I had asked him why he would think I would want to attend a holiday about _dance, _he snapped at me and told me to act in a polite way. I half-expected that my entire holiday would be people holding my chair out for me and me not having to lift a finger to do anything; I sighed. I hated being the son of a middle-class business man.

As we pulled up in the car park I had to smile in glee as I saw all of the people around the place, playing golf in the fields while their children played, their laughter echoing across the grass as they played fetch with their golden retrievers. I'd never been allowed a dog, despite how much I'd wanted one. I'd never really been allowed to run out and play, either. My parents were too busy making me stay inside and attend my piano lessons.

I was terrible at the piano and damn proud of it, too.

"Justin- can you help me get the luggage?" My Mother asked me, as we stepped out of the car.

"Sure thing, Mom." I answered, heading for the trunk. My Mother wasn't as uptight middle-class as my Father was, she knew what it was like to have fun; but her spirit always seemed to get beat down by my Father's controlling nature. I wished that she could say no to him sometimes.

"Nonsense!" A voice suddenly boomed out, before I could even reach the trunk. I jumped back slightly at the voice, but tried to hide it. I looked to see the man who had called out. He approached our family with vast strides. He was a robust man with a giant cheesy grin and wearing a tailor made but poorly fitting suit. My smile dropped immediately as I recognised him. He was my Father's dear, dear friend and he owned this place, that was the reason we were here. Mainly because my Father had made this man rich.

"Craig!" He boomed again, and the two men hugged in a very manly fashion, always manly and never...gay.

My mind lingered on that word for a minute, I briefly wondered how my Father would react if he knew...

I was torn out of my thoughts as the man approached me. "Justin." He said loudly, shaking my hand.

I smiled in greeting and then gestured to the trunk of my Father's car. "Err...nonsense?" I repeated, confused.

He just grinned loudly at me. "A special guest such as yourself shouldn't be carrying the luggage!" He said, in a tone of voice that suggested it was obvious. "Bobby!" He called loudly. A short but cute boy who seemed to appear from nowhere came right up next to me and opened my Father's trunk before I could get a word it.

"Can I help you with that?" I asked, not comfortable standing around and letting other people do the work.

He smiled slightly up at me. "No, thank you, Mr. Taylor. " He answered me politely.

My forehead creased slightly. "Please, call me Justin." I told him.

He smiled shyly back at me, I noticed his boss was glaring at him. "I don't think that would be wise, Sir." He said, before walking off with luggage in hand and leaving me standing by the car alone.

"Son," said my Father, coming up behind me and putting a hand on my shoulder, "the class system exists for a reason, the middle-class does not linger with the lower-class, it's better for everyone."

I sighed, and internally wondered who actually came up with that rule.

My Father's friend, who I later discovered was called Robert Kellerman, began to show us around the resort. My Mother smiled in awe at the things around her, she enjoyed these rest and relaxation places, my 12 year old sister Molly held her hand and looked around politely. This always made me frown, Molly should be allowed to run around and have fun.

"And this is the Spa..." said Mr. Kellerman, pointing in one direction. "And this is the pool..." I looked around the green, calming nirvana and was practically itching in my own skin. There was nothing to _do _around here. Being an artist, I was creative by nature. And as much as my Mother would love spending a month resting and relaxing by the pool and in the Spa, I knew I would _hate _it. I wanted to be outdoors, do something energetic, get something _done._ Not laze around and let the fire in my heart simply simmer.

I knew I had always wanted more in my life, but I didn't know _what._ I simply wanted something..._more._

I suddenly stopped as I heard music, loud music. I turned to see the other side of the park, sectioned of by a gate. I walked up to peer in. It was the same setting as the rest of the park, green grass fields, white gazebo's, that sort of thing. Except this time, people were _dancing._

So this was why is was called the Pittsburgh dance and leisure park.

I couldn't help grinning as I saw people, normal people, even some people like my family, taking dance lessons around the greenery, swaying to the music. Some of them were really into it and cha cha-ing and mambo-ing, whilst other couples contently danced with each other. I could vaguely hear voices drifting over the music.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 1,2,3,4, come on ladies! Shake those tail feathers!"

I grinned as I watched one of the dance lesson's I'd been listening too. I couldn't believe I had once thought dancing a boring waste of space. It was energetic and movement, it was almost everything I craved.

"Ah, I see Justin had found the dance section." Grinned Mr. Kellerman, whilst my Mother and Father smiled as they approached the gate.

"What's that?" I asked, intrigued.

"This park is split into two sections-" Mr. Kellerman explained, "this-" he said, gesturing to the side we were on, "is the leisure section, while this..." he gestured to the gate, "is the dance section. We have professionally trained dance instructors who give lessons, or you can just dance yourself. When the holiday club is open in the evening, we regularly take to the floor."

"I think it's an important lesson that every young gentleman should learn to dance like one." Said My Father, he touched my shoulder affectionately, "how would you like to dine in the dance section tonight?"

My smile lit up my face.

...

So, dinner wasn't as brilliant as I thought it would be.

Granted, the music was a lot more upbeat than the classical-jazz fusion that usually played wherever my family ate, (see, I attended chemistry class, I was always thought that a fusion was supposed to cause a blast.) And people were free to get up onto the dance floor, and it was interesting watching people do all of these dances that I had never done before, but my family still spoke of all the inane things that didn't matter to me. I tuned out their voices and began to sketch idly on my napkin, a couple of dancers in an intimate pose. I disposed of my napkin before anyone could see, not wanting anyone to catch me drawing two males dancing together.

When the waiter came to take our plates away, I made to rise to my feet. "I'll help..."

"Justin, dear, sit down..." my Mother told me.

"But..." I tried to protest.

"Listen to your Mother." My Father instructed firmly. I pursed my lips and sank back into my seat, trying to hide the desperation and frustration I felt.

Soon after the waiter had cleared our plates away, one of the head waiters came out to speak to the crowds.

"Ladies and gentlemen, If I could please ask you to clear the dining area as we will be shortly be setting up for our weekly dance show with our best dance instructors!"

The whole restaurant erupted into applause, I turned to my Mother. "Can we watch?" I begged.

My Father shook his head. "No, Justin, we promised to meet Judy and Richard for drinks, remember?"

I groaned. "Do I have to go? I want to see these dance instructors!"

My Father gave me a stern look. "Do you wish to make us look bad?"

I hung my head. "Of course not, Father." I said, he nodded curtly and I looked up to see my Mother staring sadly at me. Maybe one day she would come through and stand up for me.

"Come along, Molly." She said, as the families and couples on tables around us began to disperse, "we're leaving."

"Yes, Mother." Molly answered, getting out of her seat, as I sulkily rose to my feet, a waiter came up behind me and pushed my chair back in, like I was physically incapable of doing it myself. I refrained from rolling my eyes.

My Mother cornered me and we turned to leave. "You're not going to be crouch all night, are you?" She asked with a small smile. I tried to smile slightly in return. "Of course not." I said.

She turned to leave. "Come along, then." She said gently. I noticed we were the only people left in the restaurant, so I turned to follow my Mother out of the door. I was half-way out until I heard Mr. Kellerman's voice talking to the waiters. "Okay, Craig Taylor is my special guest, so I want his family treated like royalty, you hear me, royalty!" He said harshly, this time I did roll my eyes. "The boy is an art enthusiast, pretend to be interested, woo the wife. Do whatever you have too to make sure they have a good time."

"Do you think you can handle that, boys?"

I suddenly stopped. That voice, that voice had caught my attention. I turned back to see the source immediately. I lingered in the doorway as I watched this new man enter the room, surrounded by people carrying instruments.

I nearly gasped aloud. He was...beautiful.

He had chocolate-brown hair that looked like he had just gotten out of bed, big hazel eyes that lit up his face, and a toned, bronzed, slender body held captive within a tight black tee shirt and tight black jeans, he was tall and slender yet muscular, and I would have guessed mid-twenties. He had a leather jack slung over his shoulder and a slightly cocky but totally adorable grin on his face. He was...he was the hottest guy I'd ever seen in my life.

"Hold it-" Kellerman ordered, stopping the mystery Adonis before he and his band of people could walk through the restaurant. "The entertainment staff." He said with a sneer, "the lowest of the low." I recoiled in my hiding place from the harsh words but the beautiful stranger stood his ground, staring at Kellerman.

This vision of perfection was one of the entertainment staff? One of the lower class? I refused to believe he simply held up lights or cue cards for the performers. I screwed my eyes up in concentration, studying his lithe body more closely before it hit me- with a physique like that...he had to be the male dance instructor. I was suddenly looking at him with a new kind of awe, those dancers weren't low. I had to fight myself not to go and defend this person I didn't even know.

"Okay," began Kellerman, "he has a daughter and a son, you and your partner, teach them anything, the foxtrot, the mambo, anything they pay for...no conversations, no questions asked!" He thundered, turning abruptly and leaving the room.

One of the waiters smirked. "Do you think you can handle that?"

The Adonis turned to the waiter and presented him with that smirk I had already fallen in love with. "Why don't you just concentrate on putting your pickle on everyone's plate and leave the hard stuff to me." He replied in his silky voice, earning a few cheers. The waiter huffed and went to the kitchen.

"I guess we should set up..." said one of the men with an instrument.

"Yeah..." the God agreed, scanning the room. I froze and all breath left my body as his intense gaze landed directly on me. He stared at me for a long moment before the side's of his lips pulled up into a slight smile and he sauntered over to me, he gave off an impression like he was stalking prey, and I was the prey; it scared me how much I liked that. I could feel how graceful this man was when he moved, I was almost aching to see him dance.

He was close to me now, too close. He flashed me a seductive smile, his tongue tracing his top lip slightly. "Are you lost, Sunshine?" He drawled, enough to make me shiver.

Sunshine?

"Err...n...no..." I stammered, feeling like an idiot but unable to form a coherent thought.

He nodded slightly and then smiled that smile again. "You 'no-" he began, staring directly into my eyes, "you shouldn't stare at people like that." He informed me, I felt my cheeks burning but his smile only grew wider, I could hear the humour behind his words.

Then, all of a sudden, he leant closer to me, too close. And when his mouth was dangerously close to my own, he whispered; "people might get the wrong idea."

I shivered in what felt like...pleasure. I could feel his warm breath on my lips. And with that, he flashed me another dazzling smile, turned gracefully on his heel and walked back to his crew. I stared, wide-eyed for a moment, getting my breathing back to normal.

It occurred to me that my family were probably waiting on me, and I had no wish to anger my Father. I slipped out of the door and into the cool night breeze, I let my body fall against the wall of the restaurant as I clutched onto it for support; I could still feel the breath of my mystery Adonis lingering on my lips.

I reached a shaky finger up and touched my lips softly.

Who, was THAT?

I snuck one glance back at him through the open door of the restaurant before I headed off to join my parents, wondering all the while, who's that guy? The only plausible conclusion I could come to was that he wasn't a Human, he must have been a fallen angel.

_So...what do we think? Where would we like the story to go? Please review with your thoughts, I'm writing totally out of my comfort zone here! xxx_


	2. 2: Half cocky half totally adorable

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Chapter 2: Half-cocky half-totally adorable

I woke up the next day and momentarily forgot where I was. I looked around for a moment before remembering the Dance and Leisure park. I sighed as I got out of bed and looked around the rather expensively furnished room I was sleeping in. I frowned. I didn't want an expensively furnished room, I wanted...I wanted to camp outdoors so I could wake up to the fresh air. I didn't want to wake up to a face full of gold-plated scatter cushion. (Okay, so maybe gold plated was a slight exaggeration.)

I walked to the Mahogany wardrobe where I had stored all of my clothes the previous evening, I pulled on a simple white Tee shirt and normal jeans, wondering what boring things I'd have to endure today. I couldn't see anything remotely exciting about this park.

I stopped for a minute as something occurred to me, the dancing, I guess.

And the dance instructor. My heart skipped a beat as I thought about the gorgeous dance instructor, why was it doing that? I grinned to myself as I remembered the way he had looked at me, the way he had been so close...I practically floated down to the breakfast hall to join my family.

"Good morning, Justin." My Mother greeted, he gaze faltered as she looked up and down at my casual outfit. "What are you wearing?"

"I...err..." I struggled, trying to find a reasonable excuse for dressing like a "Lower-class person", when my brain suddenly presented me with a good one. "I didn't want to get my good clothes dirty in the fields." I lied easily, my Father grinned.

"You see, Jennifer-" he began, leaning towards my Mother, "our child is very clever."

I blushed a little bit and sat down at the table, next to Molly.

"So- " began Craig, "how about we take a spin on the golf course?" He suggested. I glanced to my Mother to see that she was smiling sweetly, but I knew her to be cringing on the inside. My Mother hated golf, and I wished that she would just stand up for herself.

...

At the golf course, I had elected to remain to the side for a while, well, more, my Father had elected I stay to the side for a while, given I was a terrible golf player and my Father was an incredibly competitive man. My Mother smiled at me sympathetically and I smiled back, somehow I wasn't devastated to be kicked of the Taylor golfing team.

As I watched the rest of them continue to play, I happily sat on the grass and brought out my sketchpad. I sat contently for a few minutes sketching trees and passersby, but after a while my mind began to wander, and I noticed that what my pencil was creating on the page was in fact, my mystery Adonis that I couldn't seem to get out of my head. Having an artist mind, I had an ability to commit every detail to memory, and as I thought of it, I could remember every contour of this beautiful man; the way he flicked his slightly long fringe out of his eyes when he spoke to the waiter, the way his soft yet full lips parted seductively as he whispered to me, that beautiful half-cocky half-totally adorable smirk that I was already in love with, that I didn't think I'd ever be able to forget...

I was halfway through shading the way his muscles flexed on his strong arms when my Mother walked up to me, I quickly flipped the page over, concealing the work of art. (Not my drawing, but the man himself.) I had to conceal a grin as I realised I was already completely enamoured with his body and yet I had only laid eyes on him once.

"What are you drawing, sweetheart?" my Mother asked me. I held up the picture of the tree I had sketched earlier.

"That's fantastic, Justin!" She gushed.

I smiled meekly up at her. "Thanks, Mother."

As she left with a parting smile I discreetly flicked back to my Adonis and found myself sighing deeply. I had known I was gay since I was 17 years old, but I had never actually been with anyone before. I wanted it to be special...perfect. I briefly wondered what it would be like being in the arms of that mystery man...I quickly shook my head. Reminding myself that he was muscular and tanned and perfect, and I was a skinny, pale kid with baby blonde hair.

...

One of the valet held the door to the holiday club open for me as my family approached the holiday club that evening. I smiled gratefully at him, all the while wondering what part of him thought my hands couldn't turn a door handle...

I looked around at all of the smartly dressed middle-class people. Some of them were dancing to the music emanating pleasantly across the floor, whilst other couples and their children sat at tables, some dining, some sipping drinks. I had tried to dress a little more elegantly for the evening, but I'd never been one for style. Not that I didn't like looking good, but I half-expected most of my clothes to end up with paint all over them.

I rolled my eyes as I saw Robert Kellerman approaching us with some young blonde thing wrapped in pink frills under his arm. He and my Father again greeted warmly, but not too warmly.

"Are we enjoying ourselves?" He asked.

"We are having so much fun!" My Mother smiled. "I can't wait to get out on the dance floor!"

"I would like you all to meet my daughter, Susie." He said, shoving the frilly girl centre stage, she smiled slightly. "Nice to meet you." She said to me.

I smiled at her, and her eyes lit up, I'd been told I had a nice smile before, one of those smiles that lit up the room, sort of like...sunshine.

"_Are you lost, Sunshine?" _

Said the voice in my memory, I jumped slightly and then realised that had been why he called me it. I must have been smiling at him.

Sunshine, I guess I kind of liked it, I liked it even more that my mystery Adonis had given me a personal nickname.

I was brought out of my thoughts by my Father. "Why don't you and Susie take this dance?" He suggested, smiling slightly, and I suddenly understood Susie's presence. I tried not to grimace, I guess she was...pretty.

"Sure." I said, smiling again. I held out my hand to her, she flushed almost as pink as he dress and took it, we waltz around the floor, the once dance I could do, I longed to dance like all of the people I had seen behind the gate yesterday...it just seemed so romantic, and passionate.

"So, Justin..." began Susie, "what do you do?"

"I'm an art student," I informed her, "I just graduated from my first year of Chicago Institute of Fine Arts."

"Oh," she said, not sounding impressed at all. "I thought you would..."

"Go into my Father's business." I finished off for her, she just smiled at me.

I turned as I felt the crowd began to part around us, "what the...?"

I looked as I realised that the crowd was simply making way for two new dancers that had just come onto the floor. My eyes widened as I stared, fixated at them. It was my mystery Adonis, he was dressed entirely in black and with my perfect smirk on his face, and he was leading a pretty, dark-skinned girl onto the floor with him. She was smiling and she was wearing a flowing pink dress, perfect for dancing. My heart sank as it occurred to me that they must be together.

Everyone stopped and stared as the couple stopped in the middle of the floor, and began to dance. I was captivated, I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life. The way the man's legs moved as he swayed to the music, the things his hips did...he pulled the girl into him and lifted her clean off her feet, executing a sharp lift and a sharp gasp from the crowd, one of which was my own.

The man lifted her again, this time all the way above his head; he then suddenly dropped her down and caught her professionally just before she hit the ground, her body stretched out gracefully. They nearly managed to give everyone in the holiday club a heart attack.

She must really trust him, I thought.

He then twisted her around in his arms and dipped her gracefully, so low her head nearly touched the floor, as everyone clapped. He looked up and caught my gaze, I froze momentarily and he winked at me, and it was simply the most erotic thing I had ever seen in my life. Then he spun the woman back into the middle of the dance floor.

I half-noticed Susie tutting beside me, I turned to her, wondering what on Earth she disliked about this captivating performance.

"Showing off with each other won't sell lessons." She berated, shaking her head.

As I turned back to them, I internally disagreed, watching them, I wanted to learn how to do that. I stared at the dark-skinned girl almost enviously, secretly wishing that I was the one on the man's arms.

I couldn't help but study his beautiful face, the way his smile made me smile, and I couldn't help staring, but then I noticed that the man's expression changed slightly, I turned to see what he was looking at and saw Kellerman glaring at them, confused, I turned back to see the man and the woman had broken off from each other, and were asking other people to dance, I was disappointed when they stopped dancing, when _he _stopped smiling.

I couldn't help but frown.

...

Walking back to the guest house we were staying in, my attention was piqued by the giggling couples running to a large staff house, past a sign that read;

NO GUESTS PLEASE

I began to recognise some of these couples as the people who had carried the instruments when I had first laid eyes on my Adonis, it suddenly occurred to me that he might be in that building.

In that moment, I made my decision.

"Mother, Father, I'm going to look around."

_Reviews, please x_


	3. Chapter 3: Sanctuary

He's like the wind.

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Chapter 3: Sanctuary

As soon as I had cleared with my parents that I was going; I began to walk to the building. My mind momentarily rested on the "no guests" sign, wondering if I should go there. But then it occurred to me that this Kellerman guy wanted me and my family to be treated like royalty, so I figured I could probably get away with pretty much anything.

As I walked past the sign, I shook my head at myself, wondering what the hell I was doing, why was I going to a place because I had an inkling that someone I had seen twice in my life would be there? I couldn't help but laugh slightly at myself.

My forehead creased as I saw a figure walking, well more, _swaying dangerously_ in front of me. I stepped cautiously closer, wondering if it were some form of drunk, but as soon as the man turned to me I noticed him, he was the man who had taken our luggage, what was his name, Bobby? And I could see why he was walking so dangerously, he was holding, or rather trying to hold, three large watermelons in his hands. I tried not to laugh at the comical sight and walked up to him. "Hey!" I called out, and he nearly dropped the watermelons in shock as he saw me.

"Mr. Taylor!" He gasped, "what are you doing here?"

"Looking around," I shrugged, not bothering to ask him to call me Justin again, I overlooked the burden he was carrying. "Do you want a hand?"

He shook his head. "I can do it," he informed me, puffing his chest out slightly as if to prove it. Except he nearly dropped all three watermelons in the process. I rolled my eyes and took one watermelon out of his arms and held it in mine.

He looked at me and sighed. "Thanks," he admitted, and I couldn't help but smile.

As Bobby and I walked up to the staff quarters, we got talking.

"You don't seem as toffee-nosed as the rest of them," he commented lightly, before realising what he just said and staring at me, wide-eyed. "Not that I meant..."

I laughed, "don't worry," I said, "I think I'm gonna take that as a compliment." He grinned at me.

As we entered the building, I almost gasped at what I saw, couples, lots and lots of couples, and they were dancing, intimately, very intimately. They were kissing sloppily and grinding their crotches together. I widened my eyes in shock, I had never seen anything like it in my life.

"W...what...are they doing?" I asked, looking around at everyone, I looked and saw that Bobby was grinning at me.

"They call it dirty dancing."

I continued looking around the people, in a way, it didn't seem so wrong...I guess there was nothing wrong with being intimate with your partner, not that I had any experience.

Bobby led me to a large table where we disposed of the watermelons, I was glad as my arms had actually started to ache, I didn't notice anyone coming up behind me.

"Hey, cus, what's he doing here?"

I stopped breathing for a moment, that voice...his voice, I turned slowly on my heel to see my mystery Adonis, wearing the same black outfit I had seen him in earlier. Except now his hair was messy and he had a light sheen of sweat over his bronze skin, I felt my cheeks redden as I saw him staring at me.

"He was giving me a hand with something," Bobby answered easily.

"I carried a watermelon." The words were out of my mouth before I could think.

He looked at me quizzically and nodded slightly, suddenly, his dance partner appeared by his side and dragged him onto the dance floor. Even though he had been taken by surprise, he still managed to disappear into the crowd with the utmost grace.

I stared at the floor, what the fu...?

"I carried a watermelon?" I asked myself incredulously, unable to believe I had just said that.

Bobby laughed, "yeah, Brian can make people kind of nervous."

I looked up to Bobby, "who?"

Bobby pointed to the dance floor and I followed his finger, I saw that he was pointing out my mystery Adonis, shining beyond the group of people he was in. His beautiful body stood out against the crowd, the air bending around his body as he moved...

"That's Brian Kinney, he's my cousin, he got me the job here, at that woman-" he said, pointing to his dance partner, "that's Daphne."

I couldn't help staring at the pair. Brian Kinney...a name I wouldn't ever forget.

"They're amazing." I commented truthfully.

"They are, aren't they?" Bobby agreed, "you'd think they were a real couple."

My heart suddenly lifted at that. "They aren't?" I asked, suddenly happier, and I couldn't help smiling brightly. My smile faltered slightly as I had a funny feeling, like someone's eyes were on me...

I looked up immediately to...Brian, his eyes were on me, his intense gaze was seeing right through me. I could feel myself blushing furiously, and I knew that I should turn away in embarrassment, but I couldn't seem to look away...

Brian dipped his head down slightly and it looked like he was whispering something into Daphne's ear, his gaze never averted from me.

The next thing I knew, Daphne had began dancing with someone else and Brian was sauntering over to me, I couldn't move...why would he want to come over to me?

Before I knew it, he was right in front of me, his strong hand reached out and his fingers eased into mine. I couldn't help it, I simply melted into his touch, it was so warm, and so soft...

I looked up tentatively and looked into his large hazel eyes, from this proximity, I could see they were speckled with flecks of gold, he was smirking at me; half-cocky, half-totally adorable. I really did love that smile, it was my smile.

My nervousness suddenly drained from me as he smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back. I felt a tugging on my hand, and realised that Brian was trying to lead me out onto the dance floor.

I was momentarily filled with a fear as I glanced around at the people, wondering who might see me. "I can't..." I began to protest.

But before I could say anything else; Brian placed a slender finger over my lips, silencing me. All of my breath left my body as I could feel his finger brushing against my lips, they began to tremble slightly.

"No one cares," he told me softly, "not here. This place is sanctuary, you can be yourself here."

I got lost inside his soft voice, and his openness. This was his sanctuary, and he was allowing me to be whoever I wanted to be.

He eased me out onto the dance floor and I let him lead me through the crowd, overwhelmed by the attention he was giving me, by the way he made me feel.

"I've...I've never been able to be myself before." I admitted, voice slightly shaky.

"That's sad." Brian admitted, raising an eyebrow.

I nodded in agreement. "It is."

Brian then put his arms around me, around my neck and encouraged me to place my hands around his waist, I tentatively complied. He was so warm...and he smelt amazing, but not a smell I could pinpoint. I was almost deliriously, I was in his arms, I was in Brian Kinney's arms, and it was amazing. It wasn't long before my nervousness disappeared and I snuggled contently and _perfectly _into his strong arms; a place I never wanted to leave.

We began to dance casually, nothing special, we simply swayed against each other, but that didn't make it any less incredible.

"What's your real name, Sunshine?" Brian asked finally, staring down at me, and only me. I couldn't help the large smile that came across my face at the mention of my nickname, this caused Brian to grin, showing his perfect teeth.

"Justin," I said, through my smile. "Justin Taylor."

"Nice to meet you, Justin Taylor." Said Brian in a low voice. "I'm Brian, Brian Kinney."

I simply stared into his eyes, captivated by him.

"So-" Brian continued, "what made a middle-class kid come to the staff quarters?" He flashed me a cocky smile.

"I was...curious about the dancing." I admitted, I suddenly realised how easy it was to talk to Brian, I could just speak to him...and I didn't feel scared.

Brian smirked down at me and I immediately registered that grin to be his "up to something" grin. "Would you like me to show you?"

I smiled nervously up at him.

Before I knew it, he immediately pulled me closer to him, completely against his toned body, and he placed both of his strong hands on my hips. I stared up at him, shocked by the sudden contact.

He began to move against me, and I gasped.

"Roll your hips into me," he told me softly, "loosen up."

I stared into his eyes, his very presence giving me confidence. I began to move more fluidly against him, our hips made contact every time.

I soon began to feel myself growing hazy; from the way Brian was moving against me, the physical contact, Brian's overpowering smell...intense gaze...

His eyes never left mine.

...

I practically floated down to breakfast to join my family, I breezed into the room and sat at the table, unable to wipe the cheesy grin off of my face.

My Mother smiled as she saw me. "Good morning, sweet heart."

"Morning." I half-sighed.

She smiled slightly, "why are you in such a good mood?" She asked playfully.

I shrugged slightly, " I dunno..." In my head, though, I could only see _him._ And the way he moved...what I wouldn't give to be able to move like that...

"So, Justin-" began my Father, looking up from his paper, "what would you like to do today?"

"I don't know." I lied easily, idling playing with my cutlery.

But I did know. In fact, I had never known anything more clearly in my entire life.

I had to see Brian Kinney again.


	4. Chapter 4: By their very nature

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Chapter 4: By their very nature

As my family and I sat down to lunch, I buried my face in my hands and moaned softly, I immediately felt my Mother's hand on my own; I looked slowly up to her.

"Justin," she asked, worry in her eyes, "sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I have a headache," I complained, rubbing my forehead to prove it. My Mother's forehead creased in worry.

"Maybe you should go and lie down." She suggested gently.

"Are you sure?" I asked, "I thought we were going to the theatre this afternoon?"

"Well, baby, if your head hurts that much I want you to go and rest." My Mother told me, softly yet firmly. I sighed slightly.

"Okay, Mother."I finally agreed, she smiled and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"Feel better, sweetheart."

I excused myself from the lunch table and walked back in the direction of the middle-class cabin we were staying in, except that's not where I went.

...

I opened the gate to the dance side of the holiday park and slipped through.

So, I didn't have a headache, I was trying to get a chance to see Brian again. I didn't like lying to my parents, but it's not like they gave me much of a choice. I knew in my heart that I would never find happiness playing golf and marrying some young woman, English major most likely. My happiness lies somewhere else, and I'd only gotten a taste of it the previous night.

As I entered the dance section for the second time I couldn't help grinning. It was so much more fun than the other side. Who wanted to be resting, when you could be _moving, creating, living._

Before I knew it, a woman I didn't know dragged me into one of the white gazebo's and starting cha cha-ing with me. I laughed aloud and lead her around the floor, I knew the cha cha, it was my Mother's personal favourite. A fact my Father didn't know.

"You are a good dancer." The woman smiled at me.

I smiled back, "thank you, so are you."

"Well, I learned from the best." She told me, gesturing to her right. I glanced over to see that woman, Brian's dance partner, Daphne?

I quickly excused myself from the woman and walked over to Daphne, she didn't look up as I approached.

I didn't quite know what I was going to say, but I had to say something. I didn't want these people thinking they were lower than people like me. I was in awe of them.

"I think you're a wonderful dancer." I said finally. She looked up at me and smiled, this was the first time I had properly looked at her up-close, she was quite pretty, I didn't find many girls attractive but I knew that Daphne was above average.

And she had a nice smile, not many people had a nice smile. People tell me I have a nice smile, but who cared, really?

_People who call you Sunshine._ A voice in the back of my head whispered, I blushed at myself.

"Thank you." Daphne said, bringing me out of my thought process. "We've got to earn money somehow."

"How long have you been dancing?" I asked her, curious.

"Since I was sixteen," she answered, "it's the only thing I ever really wanted to do, and after my Mother kicked me out, I didn't have much of a choice."

My eyes widened in shock. "You're Mother kicked you out?"

Daphne laughed, "yeah, she was a bit of a...well, she wasn't very nice."

"And that made you go into dancing." I smiled.

"Well, it was all I could do when I left home, and Brian's been looking after me ever since."

My body froze up at the mention of Brian "Adonis" Kinney. Just hearing him casually referred to made my heart flutter in excitement.

"Have you two...been dancing together long?"

Daphne nodded. "Brian was the one who got me into it, we've been friends since we were kids. We've got the trust, you' no?"

I nodded slowly. "I...guess."

She grinned at me. "You guess?" She repeated, turning it into a question.

I nodded. "Well, I've err...never really had a childhood friend, my parents only ever let me be friends with the other middle-class kids, and they were quite boring." I shrugged.

Daphne looked at me sympathetically. "And they say being higher class is all that."

I laughed, I really was quite liking this girl. "I'd rather be an amazing dancer with an incredible partner, that could do whatever he wanted, be friends with and be with whoever he wanted."

She smiled sadly at me. "Well, you're right about Brian being amazing."

There, we even had something in common.

"I'm Justin, Justin Taylor." I introduced myself, Mr. Manners as always, she smiled in return.

"Daphne, Daphne Chanders."

As we shook hands I knew a friendship was being born.

...

I saw him.

I saw _him._

And today he was dressed in white.

Wow.

He looked even more incredibly beautiful than before, after thinking this I racked my brain for ten minutes trying to figure out if that were humanly possible.

He was dancing, of course, with a woman. As I walked closer to the white Gazebo they were dancing in, I could hear his silky voice giving her instructions. He was giving a dance lesson.

I leant against the pillar at the entrance of the gazebo and simply watched him contently, it occurred to me that I could watch Brian dancing forever and never get bored. His body twisted and turned with the woman's. He spun her around and as he did so the irresistible muscles in his strong arms flexed and I had to fight of the urge to...I'm not even sure, I just knew I wanted to be the one in his arms right now. Now that I'd gotten a taste, I couldn't give it up.

I had to congratulate myself on how short a period of time it had taken me to move from infatuation to obsession.

"I think that's about it today, Mrs. Keets." Brian drawled in his downright sexy voice. "You really have improved, you're really getting the hang of these turns." The woman blushed deeply at his compliment, and I grinned almost smugly, glad I now had proof that I wasn't the only one that lost myself in his charming nature.

I'd always wondered what it would be like to meet a person who was charming by their very nature. And looking at my beautiful Adonis now, it explained why you only met one or two of them in a lifetime.

As the woman exited the gazebo, flashing me a smile that I returned, Brian finally turned around as saw me standing there. He looked slightly surprised for a moment until the look of surprise in his eyes turned to one of mischief. I was his prey again.

"Sunshine." He said in greeting, the corners of his mouth lifting up into a half-smile as he approached me. The fact that he now knew my real name but still called me Sunshine made me flush with pleasure...for some reason.

"Hi." I said, when I finally found my voice. There was something about the way he looked at me, the way his piercing gaze could see right through me. It was incredibly distracting, but not in a bad way.

"Get bored of croquet?" He smirked, and I couldn't help smiling. A part of me knew that he knew I wasn't like that.

"Why would I be there, when I could be here?" I answered, as casually as I could.

He blinked slowly, and stared at me from under his dark lashes, my cheeks went red again. "It's nice to meet someone with a little spirit." He told me eventually.

I couldn't help smiling hugely at his compliment. I had to forcibly remind myself that Brian Kinney was charming by his very nature, and just because he had complimented me didn't make me special in anyway. Although I couldn't help but notice the way his eyes seemed to light up whenever I smiled.

"I came to see you." I finally blurted out, feeling more comfortable in my own skin now. As much as I was a bundle of nerves and embarrassment around this man, there was still something about him that made me feel comfortable in myself, more comfortable than I had ever felt, really.

I smiled as I remembered something;

When I was in his sanctuary, he gave me permission to be whoever I wanted to be.

I looked back at him and saw him smirking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"You came to see me?" He asked.

My eyes widened, I'd said that out loud? Maybe Brian gave me _too much _confidence. I tried to think of something to cover my tracks.

"Err...yeah, after seeing you dance, I guess...I really wanted to learn how you do it." It was actually half-true.

Brian blinked a few times and then my half-cocky, half-totally adorable smirk returned to his flawless lips.

"I'd be happy to teach you." He told me, with a little wink that I blushed at. Was I just imagining the seduction in his voice? There was no way on Earth a perfect, sensual, fallen angel would ever be interested in me.

I smiled at his answer. "Thank you." Was all I managed.

...

Again, I found myself practically floating back to my family, like Brian had somehow managed to steal my gravity, and the ground beneath my feet.

I smiled to myself, Brian managed to steal everything; my attention, my gaze, my blushes, the air from my lungs...

I shook my head, I didn't even know this man yet he was all I could think about.

I grinned in anticipation as I realised I would now be having chances to get to know him, several of them in fact. As of today, Brian was my private dance instructor.

I couldn't pinpoint my emotions as I contemplated several dance lessons in which I would be alone with Brian Kinney.


	5. Chapter 5: Little bit brighter

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

A/N: Just wanted to mention, that I have decided to dedicate this story to GuitarsAndPoetry, for all of the support you've given me while I've been writing this, I am truly grateful x

Chapter 5: Little bit brighter

At dinner that evening, I decided to speak up at the table. "Err..Mother," I began, "I've...decided to take some dancing lessons."

"Really?" She asked me.

I nodded. "On my way back to the cabin earlier I bumped into Brian Kinney..."

"Who's Brian Kinney?" My Mother interrupted, brow furrowing. "You know we don't like you speaking to strangers."

I tried not to roll my eyes.

"He's the dance instructor," I informed her, "and he agreed to give me some lessons."

"Well, that's wonderful!" Said My Father, looking up from his food. "It will be good for you to learn from a professional."

I nodded. _And a gorgeous professional, at that._

"When do your lessons start?" Asked My Mother, she was smiling now.

"Tomorrow," I informed her. "I was pretty lucky to get the time, really. He said he's pretty much booked up."

I secretly wished that he had made the time especially to spend time with me, but I knew that idea was farfetched. But it didn't hurt to dream.

"I suppose he would be," my Mother continued. ""Is he the man I saw dancing in the holiday club the other night?" She inquired.

I nodded, my mind momentarily brought back to the other evening where I had seen Brian Kinney dancing for the first time. That was one memory I could never let go.

...

The next morning, I sifted frantically through all of the clothes in the mahogany wardrobe, trying desperately to find something nice.

I was slightly confused at my actions, as I usually never cared what I looked like, but I really wanted to look_ nice_ today.

I laughed at myself, I was trying to impress Brian. But he was so worth it.

...

I strolled across to the dance section of the holiday park, feeling rather confident. I had, in the end, opted for a long sleeved black t-shirt and snugly fitting dark jeans. I figured I looked okay, but subtly so.

I came to the dance hall Brian had told me to meet him in. I looked at the door for a long moment, debating whether I should go inside or run away. Why did I want to run away? I wanted this. I shook my head at myself. When I was without Brian I never felt more afraid, yet when I was with him I never felt more at ease.

Why did this man make my emotions go crazy?

Why couldn't I even compose a rational thought?

Taking a deep breath, I walked into the building and gazed at the large dance hall. It was rather basic, simple. I liked that.

I looked across the room and saw Brian standing at the other end in all his beauty. He was looking at me with his strong arms crossed.

We stared at each other for a few moments until I realised that he had no intention of moving. Tentatively, I began walking over to him. Trying to hide my nervousness. And failing.

He grinned as I approached. "M..morning." I stammered, unsure of what to say.

He didn't say anything. His gaze listed down to my feet, and then dragged slowly back up to my face. He stared at me for a long moment.

"You look nice." He said finally, smiling slightly.

I immediately flushed in pleasure. My plan had worked, I wasn't sure exactly what I was trying to achieve with this plan, but then again; I wasn't sure about anything when it came to Brian Kinney.

Was Brian gay, then? If he'd danced with me, and thought I looked nice. Or was he just being polite? Listening to Kellerman's orders? I quickly shook off my thought process and stared at him again, I noticed he was smiling at me.

"So..." he began, "what sort of thing would you like to learn?"

Oh right. Dance lesson.

I blushed again. "I...err...I don't really know," I admitted honestly, "my parents want me to learn but, I'm not sure what kind of dances there are..."

Brian grinned and suddenly I relaxed. That was until he closed the space between us and took both of my hands in his warm ones. My fiery blush was suddenly back, and I was feeling unusually hot. Brian gently lead me out to the middle of the dance floor. I couldn't help but stare into his eyes the whole time. Helpless.

"It's all about the footwork." Said Brian, smiling kindly. "The trick is to learn how to control your feet. Why don't we start with that?"

I nodded. "I'm just so used to doing everything with my hands," I commented, trying to justify myself if it turned out I had two left feet like I suspected. After a few moments, however, he hadn't replied. I looked up to him to find him smirking his half-cocky, half-totally adorable smirk at me. I wondered why, until I realised what I had just said.

"Oh!" I began, my cheeks burning again, and his smirk grew wider. "I'm an artist," I explained quickly, "I attend art college."

Brian raised an eyebrow for a second and then nodded slightly, like he was processing this information. "I didn't think you would have gone into business." He said finally, "not like most middle-class people."

"Why?" I asked, my confusion momentarily surpassing my embarrassment.

"Because you wouldn't have come up to the staff building." Said Brian confidently, and in full seriousness.

"And you wouldn't have danced with me..." he continued, voice softer now, "...and you wouldn't be here now."

I nearly laughed, Brian was exactly right. I had a funny feeling that Brian spent a lot of time being right.

"You're very perceptive." I said finally, and in all honesty too.

He smiled slightly down at me. "When you're a part of the low class, you have to learn to read people." There was a hint of foreboding in his voice, which I made a mental note to ask him about later, but right now I had a more pressing question.

"And what do you see when you look at me?" I asked boldly, genuinely surprised I'd actually voiced this.

Brian cocked his head to one side and studied me carefully. For a moment I thought he wouldn't answer, and my eyes began to waver under his intense gaze. But after a long while, he finally spoke.

"You're curious..." he said finally, continuing to stare at me, "and courageous..." he continued, and I felt my chest swell. Although I didn't like that defying my parents wishes to try and be happy was seen as courageous.

Before I could think, Brian ran his soft hand through my hair, stopping at my fringe; his slender fingers lingering there. I hoped he didn't hear my soft gasp.

"...Unsatisfied." He said finally, staring into my eyes and speaking in the softest, most seductive voice I had ever heard. Was I imagining it? I moaned softly anyway, I had never felt more aroused in my life.

"And when I first saw you..." he continued, voice more confident again, "smiling at me, all I could think was that you were Sunshine."

I couldn't breathe for a moment. "Sunshine...?" I repeated softly, more to myself.

Brian pulled back slightly. "Do you have a problem with me calling you Sunshine?" He asked.

"No," I said immediately, and couldn't help but smile softly, "I love it...but, why did you start calling me it?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Instinct, I suppose," Brian shrugged slightly, "when I first saw you, it seemed like this summer would be a little bit brighter."

"Really?" I asked, awash with pleasure; and Brian nodded.

It took me three hours to stop smiling.


	6. Chapter 6: Labelled as adorable

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, guys, real life's been getting in the way. Hope you enjoy the update x

Chapter 6: Labelled as adorable

I was humming to myself as I danced my way down to the breakfast table. These last three days had been the best days of my entire life. Brian Kinney was turning out to be the most incredible person I had ever met, not only did these dance lessons give me a chance to ogle his perfect body, but they also gave me a chance to talk to him, to get to know him.

Isn't it strange how you could know someone your whole life and know nothing about them, and then you could know someone for a week and be hungry for every insignificant detail. What Brian had for breakfast is important to me.

(Turns out, he doesn't like brown bread, either, now why does that make me so happy? I'm sure me, Brian and half of the population don't like brown bread.)

I'd also gotten to spend more time with Daphne, I wished I had known her as I was growing up, it was strange how I had practically dreaded this holiday and now I was making friends I never wanted to give up. It made me sad to think that I would have to leave Brian's sanctuary in a few weeks, but I forced myself not to think about it.

As I sat down at the breakfast table with my family, my Mother was smiling at me.

"You're happy this morning, Justin." She commented.

I shrugged slightly, "just practising."

She nodded and smiled in a knowing way which showed me that she didn't believe me. "Your dance lessons are really paying off." She informed me, causing me to smile with pride.

"I know!" I exclaimed happily, "I was convinced I'd have two left feet and Brian would throw me out!"

"This Brian..." my Father piped up, putting his newspaper down to address me. "He must be quite the teacher."

"He is." I agreed, trying to keep the awe from my voice. One of the incredible things about him was the way he could dance. I grew almost delirious just recalling the completely-deliberate way he would put his hands on my waist and pull me towards him. The way he'd lead me around the room like I was a delicate little flower he was protecting. I felt unusually safe around Brian, for some reason it felt like he'd never let anything happen to me.

I knew I was being silly though, Brian was possessive by nature.

...

I walked, well, _danced_ the to dance hall are lessons were usually held in and opened the door with ease. Another good thing about spending so much time with my Adonis was that I was becoming more comfortable in his presence, I definitely didn't blush as much as I used to.

"Good morning, Sunshine." Brian greeted from across the room, smiling my smile at me. I couldn't help but smile in return, that was Brian's usual greeting for me. Sunshine had seemed to stick to me like a second name, I wondered if he even remembered my real name.

Even though Brian was obviously confident and street-wise by nature, I liked to think that he was becoming used to me being around as well.

"Hi." I greeted, standing next to the sound system.

"Have you been practising?" Asked Brian, hands in his pockets, and I nodded.

"Yup, I think I've mastered the steps."

Brian raised an eyebrow and I felt a strange but not uncomfortable chilling sensation in my spine.

"well then," he began in his irresistible voice, "if you're confident with the steps, I can start to show you how to life people."

I gulped involuntarily at this revelation, I was kind of afraid of heights generally so there was no way I trusted myself lifting another person, I'd probably drop them.

"That is, if you're comfortable with that." Brian pressed, peering at me through his long eyelashes.

"Of course I am," I half-lied, not wanting to look like a wimp. When I'd seen Brian lifting Daphne in the holiday club it had looked so easy, but now that I was faced with it, it didn't seem so easy any more.

Brian, aka Mr. perceptive, however, was scrutinising me, with his head cocked to one side. He stared at me for a long moment until I began to wonder if something was wrong, then, as quick as that, he snapped back to life.

"Okay," he finally decided, "how about, I lift you first, so you can get the feel of it?"

"Um...okay." I answered nervously, walking closely to him. Brian put his hands on my arms.

"I am going to lift you above my head, Justin," Brian informed me, "you need to hold that position for a few seconds and then I'll bring you down to the ground."

I nodded slowly.

"It's not dangerous," he assured me, staring directly into my eyes, "but the key, is trust. Only attempt this if you trust me, Justin."

I stared into his gold-flecked eyes, "I trust you."

Brian nodded quickly and before I could process anything, I was airborne. I tried not to shout in alarm as my feet parted from the ground, Brian must have been stronger that I thought. Before I knew it, I was flying above his head and all of the fear left me.

I laughed.

"Hold the position!" Brian called.

I briefly wondered what that meant, I decided to simply tighten my muscles up.

"Good." Brian called, and I felt more at ease now that I knew I was doing the right thing.

"Okay, I'm gonna bring you down now." He told me, placing his strong hands under my waist to bring me down, my body was suddenly shocked by an invisible spark. As Brian lifted me down to the ground, I could swear I felt something close to sexual tension in the air. As my feet touched the ground, I stared up at Brian, wondering silently if he had felt it too.

As I looked into Brian's eyes I could see that they had darkened significantly, he must have felt the same spark. And there was a red tinge, close to a blush, forming in his cheeks that I right there on the spot labelled as adorable.

Brian stepped back slightly and I tried not to sigh in disappointment. "Right, now you have the feel of that..." Brian continued professionally.

"It's not just strength that is the key in lifting your partner," Brian informed me, "it's the way you hold yourself, if I lift someone with my arms in the wrong position, not only do I risk dropping them but I also risk hurting myself. This is the correct way to hold your arms."

Brian demonstrated by lifting his arms directly above him. "Lift your arms like you are lifting a weight, never lift someone with your arms bent, always keep them completely straight. You try it Justin...Justin?"

I couldn't seem to respond, I also couldn't stop staring at the way Brian's muscles rippled as he moved his arms. Unfortunately for me, Brian noticed my ogling and he smirked at me.

I was half-completely embarrassed, but also half-pleased that his casual, joking nature had returned.

I quickly clocked onto his request and held my arms above my head, I frowned in confusion when he shook his head at me.

"Your arms aren't completely straight," he informed me, "you have to make sure that they are completely straight, look..."

Brian walked behind me and pressed his body against mine, I gasped softly. His hands were on my arms as he lifted them above my head, I could feel the strain in my arms as he held them upright.

"You weren't putting enough strength into them," Brian informed me in a husky whisper that made me shiver. "I know the strain is painful but you get used to it, trust me."

And with that, he lowered my arms slowly back to my sides. I suddenly became aware of how very close he was, I turned my head instinctively to the side, feeling his chocolate-y brown hair brushing against the back of my neck. As I turned my neck so that I could face him, our eyes locked.

Before I could process any kind of thought, Brian's lips were on mine. My knees nearly buckled from the impact, he was not being forceful, it was the softness of his lips, and how incredible they felt kissing me that nearly made me lose my balance.

Before my brain could make any sense of the situation, I was kissing him back hungrily. I felt his hand knot in my hair and I reciprocated, feeling his soft locks tumbling through my fingers. He kissed me with such passion that I nearly fainted and I eventually had to pull away for air.

He was breathing shallowly and his eyes never left mine, and as I stared at Brian's lust-darkened eyes and irresistibly swollen lips;

I didn't realise at that point how close I was to falling in love with him.


	7. Chapter 7: Never alone

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Chapter 7: Never alone

We didn't talk about the kiss, but we hadn't stopped talking. In fact, it was like Brian was just ignoring that it had happened. I'm not sure how I feel about it, maybe he doesn't like me? But why would he kiss me if he didn't like me? It didn't make any sense. I suppose I could ask him about it, but I'm not that comfortable yet.

"Justin, honey..." my Mother began at the dinner table, I looked up to her. "Dear, you look very preoccupied." She said kindly.

I tried a small smile, "I'm fine." I assured her, there was no way I could tell my mother I was having mixed feelings about a man, and a lower class man at that.

My mother smiled and turned to the table. "I've been taking some dance lessons." She announced, and my head snapped up.

"With who?" I asked, for some reason I didn't want Brian giving my mother dance lessons, actually, I didn't want him giving anyone dance lessons.

"A woman named Daphne," she informed us, and I tried hard to conceal my sigh of relief.

"I've met her," I told my mother, "she's really great."

"She is." My mother agreed.

"Jen, you don't need dance lessons." My Father berated.

"Well, I want them." She answered, and my smile could have blinded them, finally, my Mother was beginning to stand up for herself, it was amusing watching my father scowl.

I glanced across the room and suddenly my humour left me and my breath got caught in my throat.

Brian.

He was walking across the restaurant with Daphne, holding her hand. They looked to be laughing, and Brian looked as beautiful as ever in a sharp suit. I seemed to be looking at Brian differently now, ever since that kiss, I felt more of an ache every time I glanced at him. In only a few days he had changed from my mystery Adonis into Brian Kinney, the man of my dreams.

"Oh, there they are now!" My Mother exclaimed, seeing the pair as well. "Daphne!" She called. Brian and Daphne looked over to the source of the noise. Daphne smiled in my Mother's direction and Brian's eyes locked with mine. He wasn't smiling his half-cocky, half-totally adorable smile, he was simply staring, piercing me with his gaze.

Before I could get my thought process back however, Brian and Daphne were walking towards my table. I blushed and looked down.

"Mrs. Taylor," Daphne greeted respectfully.

"Mr. Taylor." Brian greeted, angling his head towards me, I could hear the humour in his voice, it caused me to grin. That was one of the main things I loved about Brian. He obviously had no respect for class distinction or social hierarchy. A lot like me.

"You must be Brian Kinney," my Mother said warmly, directly at Brian. "My son says you've been giving him dance lessons."

Brian nodded softly. "Yes, Madam, your son is quite the talented dancer."

"He's lying," I said before I thought about it, "I have two left feet."

Daphne laughed and Brian tried to conceal a smirk. "That's not true, Mr. Taylor, it's really not."

I tried to conceal my frown, Mr. Taylor...that's what people called my father. I wanted Brian to call me Justin like he always did. Or call me by his name for me, I knew if it were just the two of us he would have said...

"That's not true, Sunshine. It's really not."

My Father then took that moment to introduce himself.

"Never saw much fun in dancing, myself." He said obnoxiously.

I dipped my head in embarrassment but Brian just smiled politely. "Each to their own." He said simply, "I always thought business people were rather boring as well."

Slam Dunk! I could swear I even saw my Mother contain a grin.

My Father's smile grew tight but he kept it all the same. "Professional dancers," he continued, blowing out his cheeks, "that's very impressive, I mean...for people of your social background."

Brian and Daphne kept their smiles, but I knew that look in Brian's eyes. It was the same look he had given Kellerman in the holiday club that night, when he had stopped smiling.

...

"Sunshine, are you alright?" Brian asked me, we'd just finished up our dance lesson and I was lingering in the dance hall. I looked up at his question, feeling quite touched at the concern in his eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine." I informed him, I swallowed down my nervousness and walked a bit closer to him. "Actually, I needed to talk to you..."

Brian sighed slightly and looked down, he didn't say anything for a few long moments until he eventually looked up to me. "If it's about that kiss...Sunshine, I can explain..."

I stopped in my tracks, surprised that he's brought it up "Actually, it wasn't." I informed him, that thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Oh," said Brian, looking down again. "What then?"

"Wait..." I said, "now that you mention it...what do you mean you can explain?"

Brian sighed and sat down on the floor, crossing his legs. He fiddled with belt-loop on his trousers for a long moment, almost like he was thinking about what to say. I stared at the beautiful concentrated facial expression for a long moment until I lowered myself down and sat crossed legged on the floor directly opposite him, when he looked up to me our eyes met.

"When I kissed you..." he began slowly, "well, that was never meant to happen." My heart wrenched for a moment until he continued. "Not that I didn't want it to happen," he continued, "hell, I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't want it to happen but..." he sighed and stared at the floor again. "Lower class people aren't meant to kiss middle class people."

I stared at him and my eyes softened. "Brian...?"

"That and I wasn't even 100% sure you were gay...and...I'm a dance instructor at a holiday park and you're the son of a wealthy business man, honestly, I figured you'd be disgusted."

My eyes widened in shock. "Brian, you could never disgust me. I'm in awe of you..." I tilted my head to the side. "I thought you knew me well enough to know that I don't care about class."

Brian did a half-smile. "Do you remember me telling you that you have to be perceptive when you're like me?"

I felt a tugging on my heart as I stared at this strong, untameable man. Trying to contemplate living your life not knowing who you can trust.

"You can trust me." I said immediately, not thinking. Brian looked at me and smiled. He simply stared at me for a while until he spoke.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

Now it was my turn to speak. I didn't quite know how to say it...

"I'm sorry," I said finally, "about my Father, he was really rude to you and Daphne earlier."

Brian suddenly grinned at me. "It's no problem," he said, smiling. "Really, it's nothing. I'm used to it."

I frowned. "You _shouldn't _be used to it."

Brian simply shrugged. "I don't want you to feel like you have to apologise on behalf of your Dad. He said it, not you."

"I know..." I began, "I just...I guess I just don't like it..."

Brian cocked his head to one side as he stared at me. "It must be hard being middle class." He said, "I mean, if you don't like it."

I snorted. "Oh yeah, my life is so hard," I said sarcastically, "people like you and Daph, and Bobby, you're the sort of people that deserve the things I get."

"Our lives aren't so bad..." Brian began, "I mean...there not great but...you 'no, we're all alive and healthy, we can see the sunshine everyday..." he smirked at me, "I can definitely see the Sunshine every day."

I smiled in awe. "That's a great way to think," I said, "that's what I think sometimes as well."

Brian smiled slightly.

"So..." I began, "how did you become a dance instructor?"

Brian smirked slightly but shrugged. "A bunch of us were in a diner one day and..this guy came in and was holding auditions for dance instructors, and if you got in he taught you a bunch of dances and how to break them down and teach them..." he shrugged again and stared at me, "what about you?"

"I...err, I want to go into art." I said shyly, and Brian nodded.

"You're an artist." Brian said, "you're used to doing everything with your hands."

"You remember that?" I said, surprised. Brian simply smirked, half-cocky, half-totally adorable.

"I can pay attention when I want to, you 'no." He joked, causing me to smile.

"Do you...have a family?" I asked him, curious to know him.

Brian smirked a little, "Parents and a sister, but...I don't really speak to them much."

"Why not?" I asked.

"When I came out..."

"Oh," I said, "I'm sorry."

Brian laughed. "Don't be, you wouldn't be if you knew them. I moved out as soon as I turned eighteen."

I frowned. "On your own?" I asked softly.

"No, not on my own." He said, "I had Daph. Obviously . And my best friend Mikey, and his Mom...they were like a family to me, but ever since Daph and I had to go on the road with our performances we don't get to see them that often."

"We'll go and see them." I said without thinking, "you can introduce me."

Brian grinned slightly. "I'd like that. You're so much different from the rest of them."

"That's not necessarily a good thing," I explained.

"Why not?" Asked Brian, but I stared at the floor.

"You can tell me," he said softly, "you can trust me."

I stared at him and smiled softly. "I guess...it's just..." I looked into his eyes. "It's very lonely."

"You won't be alone forever." Brian assured me, and for some reason, I had trust in his words.

"You'll never be alone, Sunshine. Not anymore."

I smiled slightly. "Promise?"

Brian grinned and lent forward, before I knew it he had pressed his soft lips to mine in a pretty obvious answer.

In that moment, I knew my life would never be the same again.


	8. Chapter 8: Thirst for adventure

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys, been verrry busy lol, hope you enjoy the next update x

Chapter 8: Thirst for adventure

I was sat inside the usual dance studio Brian and I usually had our dance lessons in, but the only difference was that today we didn't have a dance lesson planned. We'd been doing this for the past few days, meeting up in secret outside of our dance lessons, it was an incredible feeling, knowing that Brian wanted to see me outside of lessons.

I guess it proved to me that I was more to him than a blushing dance partner, although after our heart to heart the other day, I guess I already knew that.

This has been the happiest time of my life, I honestly mean that.

It doesn't seem real. It's almost like I wished for something amazing and incredible to happen and someone just threw Brian Kinney into my life. It's not like my life is perfect, I mean, I'm still having to sneak around in secret to see Brian behind my parents' back and I'm not even sure why, it's not like we're together or anything. I'm not even sure what we are. We'd kissed twice, and Brian was definately more intimate with me, he couldn't seem to go five minutes without running his fingers through my hair or secretly brushing past me, (something I secretly loved) but I was too embaressed to touch him. I wanted to, oh God I wanted to, but I didn't know how he'd feel about it.

And, to be honest, I didn't know how I'd feel about it. I didn't really know how I felt about Brian. I couldn't exactly pinpoint my emotions for him, I just knew I always wanted to be around him. I just want him there with me, whatever I do. Now that I'd meant Brian Kinney and experienced him, I really don't know what I'd do without him.

I didn't want to know what I'd do without him. I really didn't want to think about that because I really didn't want it to happen. I don't now what I'm going to do when I have to leave here, I just didn't want to think about it.

Besides, I had more important things to think about about, the reason I'm sitting in the dance studio waiting for Brian is because he claimed to have a surprise for me, and when we'd talked about it he'd sounded really excited.

I looked up to the sound of the door opening and saw Brian walk in and a large grin spread across my face. Today he was wearing a black vest and dark jeans, with his chestnut hair falling into his eyes. His skin looked darker than usual, like he'd been outside for a long time. I spared a quick look down at my own skin and frowned, I'd been outside in the sunlight almost as much as Brian but I was still as pale as ever. I just wished I was more attractive to Brian.

At the thought of him, I looked up to see him staring at me with his arms crossed, wearing my half-cocky, half-totally adorable grin. I didn't know what to say, he'd caught me thinking about pale skin but it felt like he'd caught me stealing from the cookie jar.

"Morning, Sunshine." He finally said, uncrossing his arms and leaning against the wall. I couldn't help smiling at him, happy at his presense. Brian had somehow managed to turn me into a love sick teenager.

"Hi," I said back.

"So, what had you so deep in thought?" He asked me, smirking. Even though I was embaressed I couldn't help but be touched that Brian seemed to want to know everything about me.

"Oh, nothing." I told him. "Nothing important."

"When do you ever waste your time thinking about unimportant things?" Brian asked me with a raised eyebrow, causing me to laugh.

"Oh, a surprising amount of time, actually." I told him with a grin. When I looked up at him he was still staring at me as if he were scrutinizing me.

"You really are interested in what I'm thinking, aren't you?" I asked him, "I can tell when you want to know something, but you just don't ask."

"Sunshine, you know me too well." Brian told me in all seriousness. "It's just...you were looking at your arm and you looked like you were in pain, I just thought you'd hurt yourself. I was worried."

I tried not to smile as much as I wanted to, so I instead looked back down at my arm. "No, I'm fine I just...err...it's stupid."

"I'm sure I could get the information out of you somehow."

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try." I joked, half-turning away. but before I got the chance, I found myself in Brian's arms and lifted off of the ground and suddenly my body was assualted with the worlds most effective torture;

tickling.

"Brian, Brian!...No...Stop!" I laughed as his fingers seemed to fnd every ticklish spot on my body.

"I'll stop when you start talking." He teased.

"Okay, okay! I'll talk! I'll talk!" I laughed, and suddenly the sensations stopped and the ground was beneath my feet again.

"I...err, I was just thinking about being more tanned." I told Brian without looking at him.

"More tanned?" He repeated, sounding confused. "Why?"

I shrugged slightly and looked back up to him. "Being permanently pale isn't exactly attractive."

"Well, maybe not for me..." Brian began, "...but you make pale skin attractive, it suits you." Before I could answer, Brian had taken my face in his hands. "Sunshine," he began huskily, "what am I going to have to do to prove to you that you're perfect just the way you are?"

I shuddered slightly, mind racing with all of the things I could suggest to Brian, but then something else decided to occur to me.

"You can tell me what my surprise is!" I said, suddenly excited.

Brian then chuckled and released me from his hands and entwined our fingers together. "There is somewhere I want to take you, today. I thought you might enjoy it."

I grinned at him. "I can't wait."

"Where are your parents today?" He asked me as he lead me out of the door.

"The Kellerman family took them and my sister on a boat trip," I told Brian, "I told my parents that I was going to look at an art gallery in the town."

"I wish you didn't have to lie." Said Brian, and I could hear the frown in his voice.

"So do I." I answered honestly.

As soon as we'd exited the dance studio, Brian let go of my hand and headed to a black jeep parked on the grass. I followed him until we reached the car. He held the passenger door open for me, I slid into the car. The interior smelt like him.

"Where are we going?" I asked him excitedly when he got into the drivers side.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." He told me, and I could see him smirking. I figured he wasn't going to give anything away until we got there.

He looked over to me and my crossed arms and smirked. "Oh, are you going to get all huffy now?"

"Yes." I told him, trying not to smirk.

Brian laughed, happy and carefree, he didn't laugh like that enough. "How about I meet you in the middle?" He suggested, "you get control of the radio?"

"Deal." I laughed, and when Brian turned back to the road I could see he was still smiling.

...

"Oh, my God." I said disbelievingly as I got out of the car.

"I thought you'd like it." Said Brian, joining me and putting his hands in his pockets.

"It's...it's...wow."

We were in a large clearing with lush green grass, on one side of us was a large, glittering lake and on the other side was a large pine forest, I'd never seen a place more beautiful.

"Places like this are the best places to relax," Brian told me, "and the best places to learn to dance. You can just be yourself. And, you strike me as the kind of person that would rather be in a place like this than in a stuffy dance studio."

I stared at Brian for a long moment, he was far more beautiful than any of our surroundings. I'd had that thirst, that need for adventure...and Brian had given it to me.

We danced in the fields, for no particular reason. We danced the steps I'd already mastered and I basically just flew in Brian's arms. Brian took every opourtunity he got to pull me closer to him, and once we'd got tired we lay on the grass and Brian picked a purple wildflower and handed it to me.

"Here," he said, giving me the flower. "This is you?"

"I'm a flower?" I asked, taking the beautiful offering and smelling it.

"You're a flower," he insisted, "see, the thing about flowers is that if they grow indoors, they just wilt..but if they grow outside in the sunlight, they blossom."

"You think I blossom?" I asked in a small voice.

"I do," Brian told me, "and, you 'no what? If you didn't have pale skin, the sun wouldn'd be dancing off of it right now."

I blushed feircely and looked away out of embaressment.

"Come on," said Brian, standing up and taking my hand and pulling me up beside him. "You're still a bit weary about the lifts, and the best place to practise lifts is in the water."

...

The water was surprisingly warm, despite all of my protests Brian had dragged me in beside him. Brian held me around the waist so I wouldn't get out of the water.

"Okay, you ready?" Brian asked.

"No." I told him, but he just laughed and before I knew it I was airborne.

"Wait, wait!" I called out, but before Brian could say anything we were both falling into the water, when I surfaced I was laughing, but Brian wasn't. As soon as he grabbed me around the waist again his lips were on mine and he was kissing me furiously.

I couldn't have cared less if we'd both drowned.

...

When we got back to the park we were still slightly damp. I'd barely said anything to Brian after our kiss, out of embaressment. He walked me back to my cabin and we stood around awkwardly for a minute.

"Thank you, for today," I said finally, "it was amazing."

"You're welcome." Said Brian, looking down slightly. "I'm sorry, for kissing you." Said Brian, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Brian, you didn't make me uncomfortable." I assured him, "I just...I wasn't sure what to say...I...want you to kiss me."

Brian stared at me with his piercing gaze for a long moment, until I leant forward and pressed my lips to his, he kissed me back softly and I nearly moaned.

"Goodnight." He said finally.

"Goodnight." I replied, we kept staring into eachothers eyes for a long time until Brian forced himself to walk away.

When I crept back into my bedroom I couldn't pinpoint the feeling in my stomach. But when I sat down on my bed and actually felt lonely because Brian wasn't there and as I thought about what he'd done for me today like he knew me better than I knew myself, I finally understood, I understood what I felt;

I was in love. I was in love with Brian Kinney.


	9. Chapter 9: Blind to good things

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

A/N: After Justin's revelation at the end of the last chapter, things will be changing slightly and things will become more serious between the boys, hope you enjoy x

Chapter 9: Blind to good things

When I woke up the next day, for some insane reason. It seemed brighter. A lot brighter than usual. But I guess that was because I was in such a good mood.  
>I was in love with Brian Kinney. I couldn't stop saying it to myself.<br>I was in love with Brian Kinney.  
>I was in love with Brian Kinney.<br>I was in love with Brian Kinney.  
>And every time I said it, it brought another blinding smile to my face. I was honestly surprised that the muscles in my cheeks hadn't started to ache yet.<br>I just couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand what had happened. I'd come to this park, and I had thought I would never be more bored. Then all of a sudden, there was Brian, I was talking to him, laughing with him...kissing him...  
>It had all happened so fast and yet I remembered every detail of it. I had come to this holiday park with a thirst for adventure and the need for something more and I'd found Brian Kinney.<br>And I was in love with him.  
>Again, that thought elicited a very childish giggle from me and I couldn't help but dance my way to the breakfast table.<br>I was in lo..."Err...Justin, honey?"  
>I opened my eyes immediately to see my mother staring quizzically at me. I stopped moving immediately and looked to the floor, cheeks burning with embarrassment.<br>I looked up when I heard my mother chuckling. "Don't be embarrassed, sweetie." She told me fondly, smiling. "I was just wondering why you were so happy. Your head was up in the clouds, Justin. I don't think I've ever seen you this happy before."  
>As I looked at my mother I tried not to look as guilty as I felt. My dislike for my lifestyle was no mystery to her. And I knew how bad she felt for me, and that made me feel terrible. That's why I always tried so hard to hide my disdain, to try and make things easier for her.<br>"I, just...err..." I stuttered, unsure of what to say. I so desperately wanted to tell my mother that I had the biggest crush on the most gorgeous guy. I wanted to tell her all about Brian and about how amazing he was...but I just couldn't.  
>If I did, not only was I outing the pair of us to the world, I could also make Brian lose his job. I couldn't let Brian lose his job over something like me.<br>"I just, feel happy." I told her, cringing on the inside. I didn't like this deceit, this wool I was pulling over my mothers eyes, but what choice did I have?  
>"Well, I'm glad." She told me, smiling. My mother then leant forward. "Robert Kellerman was telling me about an art gallery not far from here. I was thinking we could take your sister and have a look, and leave daddy to his poker game."<br>I had to grin slightly, it would mean not being able to see Brian. But the chance to spend some quality time with my mom and my sister without my father breathing down our necks was just too good to pass up. I found myself really looking forward to it.  
>"That sounds great!" I smiled, my good mood only heightened. "There's just...some things I need to do first."<br>"Of course, Justin," my mother said happily, "I'll leave you to your business, we'll go after lunch."  
>I leant forward across the breakfast table and kissed my mother on the cheek before I went out of the door. As I headed happily for the NO GUESTS staff building in the dance section of the park, I didn't think there was anything on Earth that could ruin my mood.<br>But as I got closer and closer to the staff building, I could faintly make out the sound of two raised voices. Confused, I walked slowly to the door and listened to the voices shouting at each other. My eyes widened in shock.  
>"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING! I'M JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!" That voice was Brian.<br>"OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! I'M NOT A CHILD!" That voice was Daphne.  
>Why would Brian and Daphne possibly be arguing? What did they have to argue about? They were the best of friends.<br>Before the argument could get any more heated I quickly opened the door. Brian and Daphne both immediately turned to look at me. They both looked more than a little agitated by the whole situation.  
>"Sunshine..." began Brian, looking between me and Daphne.<br>"um...is everything okay?" I asked worriedly, also looking between the pair.  
>"Of course it is." Said Daphne, smiling her larger-than-life smile that I was so used to. Almost like the argument between her and Brian hadn't occurred at all. Brian, for his part, wasn't smiling like Daph. He just looked confused.<br>"How are you, Justin?" Daphne asked happily.  
>"Err...I'm good, thanks." I responded. "How are you?"<br>"Oh, I'm fine," she laughed, "thanks for asking, well...I have to get to a dance lesson. Bye Justin!" And with a little wave she was out of the door.  
>"Bye." I called, grinning. I couldn't help it, Daphne had an infectious happy nature and an inability to be upset for more than 5 minutes.<br>Chuckling to myself slightly, I turned back to Brian. Only to see him slumped on one of the chairs running his slender fingers frustratedly through his chestnut hair. He looked really annoyed, too. Brian spent so little time in a bad mood that I was actually surprised to see him in one. And a little confused, Daphne seemed fine...  
>"What's wrong?" I asked him quietly, unsure of what to say.<br>"Nothing." Said Brian, sounding irate. He rose quickly to his feet and walked across the room, away from me.  
>"Brian, you know you can tell me anything?" I said, not meaning for it to sound like a question.<br>Brian sighed audibly and turned to me. Almost like a show of his trust for me, that he could talk to me about anything. I couldn't help but be touched.  
>"Daphne has been seeing Kellerman's son," Brian informed me, sounding both tired and defeated. "Robert .Jr."<br>I took a step closer to Brian, confused. Surely Brian would be happy for her? "What's the issue?" I asked.  
>"The issue is that Daphne is a good hearted person," began Brian almost angrily. "And Robby is the son of a wealthy, cruel business man."<br>I took a step back, suddenly hurt. "Do you believe that dance instructors shouldn't be seeing the sons of wealthy, cruel business men?" I asked quietly.  
>Brian immediately looked at me and something dawned in his eyes like he just realised what he said. Brian sighed slightly and walked over to me, wrapping his strong arms around me. I couldn't help but melt into his embrace,<br>"That's not what I meant," said Brian softly, staring at me. "That's not how I meant it to sound. Sunshine. You are this incredible, selfless person and you are nothing like your father." Brian said, like he was reminding me. "But Robby Jr, is exactly like Robert Sr." He continued, "he's a slimeball that cares about nothing but money. He's just gonna chew Daph up and spit her out, and probably get her fired in the process, but she just can't see that" Brian sighed again and ran his fingers through my hair, almost like it was his way of calming himself down.  
>"I just can't...sit back and watch that happen to my best friend, I'm sorry if I'm getting so annoyed about it."<br>"Hey," I said immediately, putting my arms around him. "I understand, okay? I get it, some people just can't see a good thing when it's stood right in front of them." I said, my mind briefly drawn back to when my father had first met Brian, and the way the had treated him.  
>"So, what can we do?"<br>Brian shrugged slightly. "I don't know." He admitted, "I've tried to talk to her but she won't listen...I'm just gonna have to go and talk to Robby myself."  
>"I want to come with you." I told him, and Brian looked down at me for a long moment.<br>"Only if you're sure." He said.  
>"I'm sure," I told him, "I want to be with you every step of the way."<br>Brian smiled then, the first time I'd seen him smile that day. It lit up the room.  
>"How are you today, Sunshine?" He asked me, and I couldn't help but smile back.<br>"Amazing."

...

As we walked around the dance section of the park, Brian sneakily snuck his hand into mine. I couldn't help but feel overjoyed, soon, we came to a restaurant. The restaurant where I had seen Brian, "my mystery Adonis" for the first time, I suddenly realised with a tingle.  
>Brian stopped just short of the entrance. He let go of my hand and leant against the wall.<br>"Brian?" I asked, confused. His expression was unreadable. Brian didn't answer me for a long time, but I was growing accustomed to that.  
>Brian had this cute little quirk where he would be silent for long moments, and just stare at me. Probably with some adorable lop-sided grin or a beautiful thinking expression. It wasn't strange, not now I knew him.<br>Brian liked to look at things, he liked to assess them quietly. So he could think things through logically and come to the best decision possible. He once told me that was what it was like, being lower class.  
>You have to read everyone, because you don't know who you can trust.<br>Then I suddenly realised that right now, that's what Brian was struggling with. It shocked me to realise that Brian was nervous to go and confront this big fat cat. Maybe even a little afraid.  
>That just didn't ring quite right in my head. Brian was this strong, fearless, remarkable man who should be afraid of nothing. He shouldn't be scared like me.<br>I'm scared of everything, honestly, sometimes I can't help but realise that I am.  
>My mind snapped back as Brian coughed slightly to clear his throat. "I don't think you should come, Sunshine." He said, sincerely.<br>"Wha...? Why not?" I asked softly.  
>I watched as he gestured with his hand to me, and then to himself.<br>"People might...they might think...if they see you with me...I don't want to have to force you to come out, and be treated like crap for it because of me, I don't what you to have to be afraid of what you are."  
>I cupped one of Brian's cheeks with my hand and he looked up at me, his eyes wide.<br>"Brian," I said softly, "the people who can't except us...they're the ones that are afraid." I took a deep breath and looked down for a second. "I'm gay," I said, probably for the first time. "And I'm okay with that...I'm just not ready for everyone else to know just yet."  
>Brian looked at me and smiled slightly.<br>"And you're the same," I pressed on, more confident. "You're comfortable in your own skin. That guy Robby-" I said, gesturing to the restaurant with my head. "He doesn't stand a chance."  
>Brian grinned largely at me as he bounded energetically into the restaurant. I couldn't help grinning myself as I followed him.<br>"Mr. Kellerman." Brian addressed the young man rather loudly, I realised that this must be Robby.  
>He turned and gave Brian one look and I could practically see the disdain on his face. "What do you want?"<br>"Oh, just something simply," began Brian, obviously riled up with that burst of confidence I had just given him.  
>"I want you to stay away from Daphne."<br>Robby smiled a snotty little smile and slowly put down the silver platter he had been holding. He was obviously putting water on the tables when we had barged in. I cocked my head to the side in wonder, maybe he worked here?  
>Part of me couldn't believe that Robby was actually snidely chuckling at Brian. I couldn't help but notice the difference in height and muscle between Robby and Brian and decided that Robby must simply be an idiot.<br>"And what are you gonna do about it, tough guy?" Robby asked snidely, smirking. It wasn't a nice smirk. Brian's smirk was nice, it was half-cocky and half-totally adorable. But with Robby...Brian was right, he was just a slimeball.  
>"There is nothing you can do." Robby continued, "you're just a lowlife, with nothing in the world except your dance moves, you don't deserve anything good. You don't deserve anything!"<br>I looked at Brian and felt something tug at my heart, Brian was very visibly hurt, I could see it in his eyes. But in a flash, the hurt is gone. Gone from view, anyway.  
>I was about to open my mouth to defend him but was cut off.<br>"Is your little boyfriend gonna save you now?" Robby taunted.  
>"What?" Asked Brian quietly, shocked.<br>"Yeah," continued Robby, squaring up to Brian. Even if he was a good five inches shorter than him. "I know what you are, Kinney. And it's disgusting! I thought people like you couldn't be any worse."  
>I stared between Brian and Robby in shock, and Brian was silent for a long moment.<br>"Stay away from Daph, or else." Said Brian in a hard voice, and with that, he was out the door. I was about to follow suit until an idea materialized itself in my head.  
>"Do you...work here?" I asked Robby politely.<br>"I do," Robby replied, suddenly completely polite. "You're Justin Taylor?" He asked, and I nodded.  
>"My father loves your family," Robby assured me with a smile. "I'm sorry you had to see that dance instructor shout at me. And I'm sorry I had to use you to get to him. After all, you are a special guest."<br>"That's true." I said thoughtfully. Then, I stepped forward. Mimicking the way Robby had squared up to Brian. "Now listen up," I said in a hard voice. "If you don't stay away from Daphne Chanders, then I'll have you fired."  
>I couldn't help but smile, amused at his facial expression, before I left the restaurant, and for some unexplainable reason, I suddenly felt rather good about myself.<p>

...

That feeling instantly evaporated when I walked into the staff only building and saw Brian. He was sat alone at a table, staring almost dejectedly into space. It was hard to tell if he was upset or not.  
>"Are you okay?" I asked carefully, Brian merely shrugged.<br>I sat down opposite Brian and looked carefully at him. "What Robby said...that didn't get to you, did it?"  
>Brian met my eyes and I was relieved to see him smile. It wasn't forced. Brian chuckled a bit to himself as he stood up. "No," he assured me honestly, "It's just, he had no right saying those things to you. Making assumptions like that..." Brian shook his head slightly.<br>"I'm just riled up that he's not just a jerk...but a homophobic jerk.." Brian continued, chuckling a little disbelievingly.  
>"And how the hell did he know about me?...Maybe Daph?"<br>"She wouldn't do that." I reminded Brian. "He was probably just making stuff up."  
>"I know." Brian agreed, running a hand through his already adorably messy hair. "It's just...of all the things to judge a person on! It just gets to me that people can't be excepted for the way they are...the way they were born."<br>He looked down at me, some of his frustration leaving his voice. "You 'no, Sunshine...just, the world we live in...some people are more comfortable, seeing two men holding guns!...than holding hands..." he sighed again slightly, I watched him softly as he ranted, knowing every word he said to be true. "...what kind of crap is that?"  
>"That's all it is, Brian." I reminded him softly, letting him get rid of his anger. "It's all a load of crap."<br>Brian shook his head slightly. "I'm sorry, Sunshine." Brian apologised, "idiots like that are the losers..." Brian grinned slightly at me as he spoke, "...some people just can't see a good thing when it's stood right in front of them."  
>I smiled slightly at him, touched as he repeated my words from earlier.<br>I watched as Brian sat back down in the seat next to me, he took my hand and massaged little circles in my palm with his fingers. His little way of assuring me he was better now.  
>It's weird how he didn't have to tell me these things, I just knew.<br>"Robby was right about one thing, though..." Said Brian finally, smiling wistfully and meeting my eyes. "...I don't deserve you."  
>I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him.<br>"Shut up." I berated with a grin before covering his mouth with a kiss.


	10. Chapter 10: Life changer

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Chapter 10: Life changer

"Sunshine you're killing me!" Brian mock whined, half-laughing, half-growling as he pulled me towards him, but I just grinned like an idiot and pulled back. Wiggling my ass as I danced away from him in the dance studio.

"I'm not the big nasty dance instructor." I told him, and I felt Brian walk up behind me and put his arms around me, then I felt his lips on my neck.

"Hey! You are invading my dance space!" I grinned, facing him. Repeating the rule he had said to me many times.

"This is my dance space," I told him, mimicking the area with my arms, making a half-oval shape.

"And this is your dance space." I told him, gesturing the same hand movement to him.

"Let's not get frisky, Mr. Kinney." I told him, mock-rejecting his advances again. "We have a cha cha to learn."

Brian growled playfully again. "Enough of this." His said seductively, and the next thing I knew, he had pulled me close against his body. Extremely close, our chests were touching.

Suddenly, the playful atmosphere was gone and I became all too aware of Brian. Of his smell, of his muscular arms around me, holding my hips firmly to his.

I could feel our crotches rubbing together and I knew he could feel it too.

This sparked up a whole new playing field of questions.

Was I ready? Was I ready to start a sexual relationship with Brian?

I know Brian, I know that I know him. And I don't think for a second that he would ever force me into anything I didn't want to do, and he'd never put any pressure on me. Brian just wasn't that kind of person. It was one of the many reasons I loved him.

But there were so many things that came with sleeping with someone. I had no idea if Brian loved me the way I loved him, or if he even loved me at all. Although I tried not to think about it, the thought made me shudder.

And of course there's the big one.

I'm a virgin. For men and women. Of course I am. I want my first time to be with Brian, that special someone who made my life more than I ever thought it could be.

But Brian probably had loads of experience, I didn't even want to think about it.

Brian was being incredible for not showing it, but he must be frustrated, going out with a virgin.

I tentatively slipped my hands around Brian's waist, reminding myself that this was Brian right in front of me, not a complete stranger.

I knew him, I was familiar with him.

With this new found comfort, I built up the courage to slowly slide my hands down to his ass. Suddenly, Brian's eyes were locked with mine, his lips inches away...

"Excuse me?"

Oh My God! I knew that voice! I flew away from Brian faster than I thought Humanly possible and tried not look stressed or out of breath as I pretended to dance by myself. Brian smirked in my direction and walked over to change the music just as my Mother walked into the dance studio.

"Oh, Justin!" She exclaimed happily, "I didn't think you'd be in here."

I tried to smile normally, "just having a dance lesson." I said, nonchalant. Even though I could swear I _felt _Brian's intense gaze on the back of my neck as I heard him walk back across the dance studio towards us.

"Mrs. Taylor." Brian greeted politely, joining us.

"Hello, Mr. Kinney." She smiled back, "I was actually looking for you."

I spared a glance to Brian but he didn't waver. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked my Mother.

"Yes. I'm looking for Daphne, we have a dance lesson. But I can't find her anywhere. Have you seen her?"

Brian's facial expression instantly turned to one of confusion and worry.

"No, I'm sorry, Mrs. Taylor. I haven't seen her all day." He explained to my Mother, still looking worried. Daphne meant the world to Brian and all he wanted was for her to be safe. I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around Brian and tell him everything was going to be okay.

"She rarely misses lessons..." Brian continued, more to himself this time.

I looked and saw my Mother frown out of concern. "Oh." She said, "I hope she's not..."

"You 'no what," said Brian immediately, smiling. "I'm sure Daphne has a perfectly good reason for being away. May I take your dance lesson this morning?" Brian asked, his charm practically leaking from his pours. He extended a hand to my Mother and I smirked as I saw her blush.

So it wasn't just me, then.

Or maybe it was a Taylor thing?

As Brian took my Mothers hand and began talking to her softly, explaining about the dance steps, it suddenly occurred to me what he was doing.

He was covering for Daphne. Brian had once told me, off-handedly really, that the slightest thing would get them fired. Brian would sweep my Mother off her feet now so she'd have no complaints, and then he'd find out what had happened to Daphne.

I think we were both suspecting it had something to do with Robby Kellerman.

But as I watched Brian and my Mother dancing, I couldn't stop the worry building in my stomach, Daphne was kind, she was my friend, I hoped to God that she was alright.

…

After my Mother had left, I walked slowly back to Brian and ran my hand up his arm, desperate for any sort of contact. He looked down at me.

"That was weird." I commented lightly.

"That was weird," he agreed, looking off into the distance. "She called me Mr. Kinney."

I laughed slightly, but when I caught the look in Brian's eyes I realised he wasn't kidding.

"My Mother is really great," I assured him, wanting him to know this fact. "So is my sister, they're just beat down by my Father."

"You weren't." Brian said simply.

I shrugged slightly and half-smiled. "Yeah, well. I found something that brought my spirits back."

Brian smiled down at me for a moment, no kind of smirk, just an open, earnest smile. But after only a moment he looked away again and worry crossed his face, I knew what he was thinking about.

"Where do you think Daphne is?" I asked quietly.

Brian ran a hand through his hair, giving it a sexy, windswept look.

"I don't know." He told me, "I honestly don't know. Daph wouldn't miss dance lessons, I love her to bits but she always gets herself into trouble, she just doesn't think."

I reached up and put my hands on Brian's cheeks and pulled his face gently to mine.

"Hey, I'm sure Daphne will come back, and she'll be just fine." I stroked Brian's cheek. "Have I ever told you how over-protective you can be?"

Brian smirked at me then, half-cocky, half-totally adorable.

"I never did get that kiss..." He reminded me, pulling me close. I grinned as I pressed against him...

…

"Hey, Mother." I said, sitting down at the lunch table.

"Hi, Justin." She greeted me, I looked around.

"Where is everyone?"

"Your father and your sister went to the town. They'll be back shortly."

"Oh." I said, out of polite surprise.

"What?" Asked my Mother, grinning slightly.

"Nothing," I shook my head, "just, Father and Molly never really spend any time together."

She smiled again. "Your father is trying." She told me. "Oh, has there been any luck in finding Daphne?" She asked me, looking genuinely concerned. She and Daphne must be friends.

I sighed slightly. "No," I told her honestly, "Brian is looking as we speak."

I looked and saw my Mother grinning again. "I can see why you like Brian so much," she told me. "Isn't he so wonderful and charming?"

"Yeah, he is." I said, trying not to sigh like a school girl.

"I think someone has a little crush on him."

"What?" I asked hurriedly, my attention instantly caught.

Mother just laughed. "I think I have a crush on Brian." She said, "he certainly is very handsome."

"Oh," I said, feeling my heart beating a mile a minute. "I hadn't noticed."

_Course you hadn't._

I began piling food on my plate, trying to change the subject. I wondered what my Mother would do if I told her I did have a crush on Brian?

…

I ran into the staff quarters building, it was empty except for Daphne, Bobby and Brian. I ran immediately to his side. "Hey," I said, out of breath. "I ran here as soon as I got your message," I told him, "what happened?"

Brian looked at me solemnly, my gaze left him and went to Bobby, who looked at me the same. And then to Daphne, who was sat at a table, covered in a blanket and clutching a scotch glass, half full, in her shaking hand.

Her eyes were puffy and red raw, the remains of wet tears evident down her face.

I knelt by her side immediately, worried.

"Daphne," I asked softly, "what's wrong?"

Daphne didn't answer for a long moment so Bobby did.

"She's pregnant." He told me, and I stared at Daphne for a long moment.

"What are you going to do? Maybe you should tell Kellerman? Get some time off..."

Daphne shook her head and I looked at her, confused. "Why not?"

"Daphne thinks that Kellerman won't believe it's Robby's," said Brian, speaking for the first time. His voice sounded subdued, I turned to look at it.

"He'll think it's mine." Brian continued, "then we'll all get fired."

I turned back to Daphne, "Daph, you won't get fired for having a baby," I told her.

"Yes, I will." She said in a small voice. "I have to get rid of it, I want to. I don't want that slime balls' kid, I thought he loved me, but when he found out I was pregnant he just left me in the dirt." She laughed slightly through her tears and reached out to take Brian's hand. "Why is it that the only man who looked after me my whole life has to be gay?"

Brian laughed slightly and squeezed her hand. I knew Daphne was joking, but it was such an open, yet intimate moment between the best friends, I felt like I was intruding.

"How do we go about it?" Asked Bobby, and we all knew what he was talking about.

I took a deep breath. "My father..." I said slowly, "he's a business man. His business is a chain of Doctor's clinics, my Father is a Doctor." I told them, "I could ask him to help..."

"How would you explain that you've become mixed up with the entertainment staff?" Asked Brian, as if he wasn't seriously considering what I had just said.

"It's not like you could pretend your dating Daphne without pretending it's your baby."

"I wouldn't pretend." I told him, "I'd tell him the truth. About us." I'd have to, no matter how scared I was. It was for Daphne.

"You can't, Justin." Said Daphne weakly, "Brian will get fired if he's caught fraternising with one of the guests. I won't do anything that might expose you guys."

Brian took my hand without me noticing, I smiled slightly in response.

"How does Robby know that I'm gay?" Brian asked, looking at Daphne.

"I didn't tell him, I swear." Said Daphne, "he went riffling through my things and found a bunch of pictures of you and Michael..."

"Your best friend?" I asked, casting my mind back. Brian nodded.

"He doesn't know about you and Justin," she assured us, "I should have known then he was a creep..."

"Hey," said Brian soothingly, "we all make mistakes. We just have to carry on, deal with it."

Daphne nodded a little. "I'm...sorry, Brian." She choked, but Brian shook his head.

"No, I promised to look after you no matter what, and that's what I do. No excuses, no apologise, no regrets."

_No regrets._ I repeated in my head. It was incredible, seeing Brian so open and tender.

I felt myself fall even more in love with him.

"There's a Doctor," said Bobby. "He's coming into town for one day next week. I can get Daph an appointment, but it's gonna cost a grand."

"What?" Asked Brian incredulously.

"There's no way we can get that kind of money!" Daphne exclaimed.

I drew myself up a little higher, to get everyone's attention more than anything else.

"I can get the money." I said confidently.

I saw Brian shake his head. "No-" he began, "-we don't need hand-outs from Craig Taylor."

I stared at him for a moment. "How about, help from Justin Taylor?" I counted, and Brian stared at me for a long time.

I turned away from him as I heard Daphne and Bobby laughing with joy.

"Thank you so much, Justin!" Daphne exclaimed, hugging me close and then hugging Bobby.

I looked back to Brian as the other two embraced, he hadn't said a word.

"It's the only way." I said quietly.

Before I knew it, Brian pulled me close and buried his head into the nape of my neck, my eyes fluttered at the contact.

"Sunshine," he breathed, "you make me see things differently, you make me think about things differently. You help everyone you touch, you have literally changed my whole life."


	11. Chapter 11: When things go wrong

He's like the wind.

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Warnings: This chapter mentions abortion and has some upsetting scenes.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys, it took my a long time to decide where to go with the chapter so I hope you like my decision. Reviews much appreciated x

Chapter 11: When things go wrong

The sun was shining particularly hot today, I was sat on the grass in shorts and a tee shirt while the rest of my family played the usual game of golf before breakfast. I was sketching one of the gazebo's on the green, and all the people dancing inside it. This made me smile involuntarily now, just the sight of people dancing in those white Gazebo's had become so familiar to me know, it was an innate reaction.

But I couldn't just sit here and admire the view today, as much as I wanted to. There was something I needed to do. Something I both wanted and didn't want to do at the same time.

But it was for my friends, my new and yet oh so familiar friends, that was all the motivation I needed.

I stood up slowly and walked over to my father, he glanced in my direction as I reached him and I tried to tell myself that I was imagining the confusion on his face.

I didn't like feeling like a stranger to my own father.

"Err...Father?" I began slowly.

"Justin?" He said in response, "what is it, son?"

"This is going to sound very strange," I warned him, building up the courage in my gut. It was moments like this that I truly wished I were more like Brian. "I need to borrow 1000 dollars."

My father raised his eyebrows to me and put his golf club on the ground, he scrutinised me suspiciously for a long moment and I found myself growing scared, like I thought he could pluck the answers out of my head before asking any questions.

"What do you need such a large amount of money for, Justin?" He asked me eventually. And in that moment, it occurred to me that I really didn't have an answer.

_Well, the best friend of the male dance instructor I've fallen in love with is pregnant with the illegitimate child of the son of Robert Kellerman and I need 1000 dollars to help pay for the abortion._

Maybe not.

I told my brain to come up with an excuse to please my father and it gave me both the best and worse possible explanation. But I didn't have much of a choice.

"See, there's this...girl, who I really like and I wanted to...impress her." I finished lamely, not even believing my own terrible lie. It was almost like the words tasted bad rolling off my tongue.

I looked to my father, expecting a torrent of rage and a demand for the real reason, but it was only when I forced myself to make eye contact with my father that I realised that he was grinning at me.

"Good on you, son." He said, "nice to see you finally getting out there and playing the field. I'll have the money ready for you after lunch."

I tried not to sigh in relief and feel like a terrible person at the same time, but both were hard to conceal.

"Thanks, father." I finally managed, flashing him a small smile. But before I could walk away, he had stopped me.

"Proud of you, Justin." He said, and I felt my insides flip with guilt, I managed another quick thank you and then walked away as quickly as I could.

…

"He told me he was proud of me! I don't think he's ever said that to me before, and I lied to him. I'm such a terrible person."

"You are not a terrible person," Brian told me, lying next to me on the grass and shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight with his arm. "Your Dad isn't giving you a choice. He's only proud of you when you're the person he wants you to be."

"Yeah." I agreed solemnly, sat cross-legged on the warm grass, picking at the daisies growing around me.

"I just, wish I could tell him the truth." I admitted, "I wish I could tell him about you."

I heard Brian snort next to me, even that sounded sexy coming from him. "I'm sure your Dad would love to have me as an edition to the Taylor family." Brian replied sarcastically, and I looked down at him as he said it.

Lying on the green grass, he'd taken his shirt off in the sunlight so his perfect chest was exposed, and I could see the sun fluttering across his bronze skin. I couldn't even imagine someone thinking Brian wasn't good enough.

The concept was alien to me.

Before I could think anything else, Brian's hand was on my shoulder, tugging me down to lie next to him on our little secluded spot of grass. He fiddled with a stray strand of me hair and tucked it behind my ear as we faced each other, and I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

"You can't keep beating yourself up, Sunshine." Brian told me softly, "you are never going to be a heartless, straight business man like your father wants you to be. And I think a big part of that is that you have to accept it, too."

I stared into Brian's hazel eyes and couldn't fault a word Brian was saying, he wasn't being harsh, he was being honest.

"I know." I told him honestly, sighing. "Really, I know. It's just...he's my Father, you 'no?"

Brian chuckled slightly. "Oh, yeah. I have far too much experience in the bad father department."

As Brian said that, his eyes glazed over slightly and I wondered what he was seeing in his head. I stared at him for several long moments and in that time I realised that his thought process had shifted.

He was staring into the distance for a reason I understood, now.

I ran my hand softly up Brian's arm, getting his attention. "Daphne is going to be fine." I told him softly.

"Yeah," Brian breathed heavily, joining me back in reality. "I'm sorry that I had to burden your holiday with all this crap."

"You didn't." I told him immediately. "This is the best holiday I've ever had." I admitted honestly, all of my other holidays could have a been a whole lot better if only Brian had been in them.

"In fact," I began, grinning. "I've had the time of my life."

Brian laughed then, and everything seemed more at ease.

"You 'no," I began tentatively, I don't know why I was thinking about this now of all times and I don't know why I was bringing it up. But one of us had to bring it up eventually.

"I'm going to have to go back to Chicago in two weeks."

Brian didn't say anything. I didn't know what he was thinking, his facial expression didn't betray him once. It seemed like it was a problem with no solution and it killed me whenever I had to think about it. I'd had no idea I would meet someone like Brian, and I'd had no idea I would feel so strongly about him. I had no clue if he felt remotely the same as me but he definitely felt something, if he didn't, he would have answered me by now.

"I'm not sure what to do ab..." But before I could finish my sentence, Brian was on top of me, pinning me to the grass and kissing me like there was no tomorrow.

I knew in the back of my mind there was something I was trying to talk to Brian about but I could barely remember my own name right now.

I tried to convince myself I couldn't feel something distinctly desperate behind Brian's kiss.

…

"Thank you, so much, Justin." Daphne said for the thousandth time as I handed her the 1000 dollars my father had given to me earlier.

"Don't worry about it, Daph." I told her, smiling. "What are friends for?"

Daphne then had me trapped in a vice-like hug and I felt too bad to tell her that I couldn't breath so I let her hug me out for a few long moments.

When she pulled away from me, she had tears in her eyes.

"Hey," I said, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she laughed, frantically brushing her tears away. "It's nothing, it's just...I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Of course you would." I said, brushing her comment away, although I couldn't help smiling.

In was only after a few moments that I realised Daphne's tears were still coming.

"Daph, what's wrong?" I asked again, and this time, she didn't lie to me.

"I'm so scared, Justin." She admitted, the tears falling thick and fast down her cheeks. "I'm so scared that something is gonna go really wrong!"

I immediately took her in my arms again.

"Hey, it's all gonna be okay, Daph." I soothed her, "everything is gonna be okay."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just being silly," Daphne said as she pulled away from me and wiped her tears away again.

"Hey, are we good to go?" Asked Bobby soothingly, suddenly appearing in the doorway. Daphne flashed him a small smile and nodded to him.

"Thanks Bobby." I said quietly.

"No biggie." He replied, smiling slightly. "Daph?"

"'Kay." Said Daphne, before turning back to me. "Just, promise me Justin, if anything happens, take care of Brian."

I didn't see any point in trying to convince her further that everything would be fine. Plus, if there was anything to do to put her mind at ease, I was gonna do it.

"Sure thing, Daph. I promise."

Daphne smiled at me again. "You're good for him, you 'no." She told me, walking to join Bobby at the door.

"Yeah, thanks." I replied, and waved the pair off as they both made their way to Bobby's car parked on the lane.

…

We dined at the holiday club that night, and when Brian had to do his piece I noticed he was dancing with another woman. I think I vaguely recognised her as one of those "dirty dancers" (a thing I'd gotten particularly good at since I'd met Brian). All I wanted to do was go up to him and put my arms around him. I knew Brian wouldn't stop worrying until Daphne was safely back with him.

It was kind of adorable.

Naturally, of course, my Mother noticed me looking at him but far from picking up on my secret longing of my gorgeous not-so-mystery-anymore Adonis, she picked up on my genuine concern for my friend.

"Did Mr. Kinney ever found out what happened to Daphne?" My Mother asked me, "I have been worried about it."

I smiled briefly at my Mother before I answered. "Yes, her, err...her grandmother died." I told her, that was the story we had decided upon, the story Brian had told Mr. Kellerman.

"Oh, the poor thing!" Exclaimed my Mother sympathetically.

"Poor thing?" My Father snorted beside her. "Jen, those people aren't "poor things", they're thieves, bad people."

That was when I could feel my blood boil under my skin. My Father in his obnoxious, protected little world. He didn't know a damn thing about people like Brian and Daphne and Bobby and as far as I was concerned he could keep his pride.

I opened my mouth to argue with him, but something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention.

It was Bobby, he'd ran across the dance floor and now he was talking to Brian. Well, it looked like he was babbling, like the words were tumbling out of his mouth. And Brian, he looked...he looked scared.

After another moment, Brian and Bobby were running out of the holiday club and I turned immediately to my mother who, thankfully, hadn't noticed anything.

"Mother, may I be excused?" I asked her hurriedly.

She must have noticed the worry in my eyes. "Of course. But sweetheart, what's wrong?"

But I'd already risen. "I, err...I'll explain...later..." I managed, before I, too, was out of the door of the holiday club. I had no idea what I was going to explain later but right now it really didn't matter.

I ran to the staff part of the complex, where the staff building was and saw the shadowed figures of Brian and Bobby barrelling into Daphne's personal cabin. I raced after them and didn't even stop at the door to knock.

When I ran into the room I wasn't expecting the sight that followed.

The cabin was filled with all of the other dancers but all I could see was Daphne. She was lying on her bed, twisted in blood-stained sheets and she was screaming. I felt the bile rise up in my throat and tried not to throw up right there and then. It was then that I noticed that Brian was sat next to Daphne on her bed, clutching at her hand.

He looked tortured and half-crazed.

"Bobby, what the hell happened?" Brian shouted.

"I swear I didn't know!" Bobby said desperately. "Brian, the guy had a dirty knife and he wasn't even qualified! I tried to get her out of there but I couldn't!"

"Oh, God...Daph.." Brian croaked helplessly, and I could tell he was losing it. As Bobby pressed a cold compress to Daphne's forehead I grabbed Brian by the arm and tried to drag him out of the cabin. Surprisingly, he let me. It was like he had no strength of his own left.

As soon as we were outside in the cool night air the first thing I did was hug him fiercely, I felt him put his arms around me and hug me tightly. Too tightly.

I found myself crying at how scared he was. And I was already shaking because of Daphne, my brain could only think of one thing to do.

"Come on," I shakily whispered into Brian's neck. "We have to get my Father."


	12. Chapter 12: The unlikely saviour

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

A/N: Sorry for the epically long wait, guys...first had an awesome holiday then was settling back into civilian life lol, well...had a lot of fun writing this chapter for reasons that will become obvious at the end! Hope you guys enjoy, hopefully should be back to usual writing routine now, also, big thanks to my awesome sister for the chapter title, she now feels she's done her bit in the world of fanfiction lol x

Chapter 12: The unlikely saviour

I rushed immediately to my fathers cabin, half of my mind was completely set on getting there immediately but then half of my mind wanted to be back there, back with Daphne, back with my arms around Brian.

But that was one of the reasons I needed to speed up. I couldn't even allow myself to think about it right now, leaving Brian in such a state.

I stopped immediately as I reached the door of my father's cabin. Suddenly I had hesitant thoughts flooding through my brain.

Was getting my father the best idea?

My brain was suddenly filled with all of the things that could go wrong with asking my father for help. I could expose myself and Brian, and I could cost Brian his job, and Daphne.

Daphne.

I had to get to my father, this was the only thing that could help her and Daphne's life was the most important thing right now. It was what Brian would tell me to do.

I opened the door of my father's cabin and rushed to his bed side and shook him, I tried to keep my voice quiet so I wouldn't wake my mother.

"Father! Father! You need to get up!"

"Justin?" He asked me, bleary-eyed and sleepy. "What's going on?"

"Father – someone needs your help." I told him frantically, "someone is in trouble!"

"Okay, okay...Justin, calm down, grab my medical bag while I get dressed." My father told me, getting out of the bed and heading for his closet. I took his medical bag from the corner of the room where he always kept it and stood in the doorway as he dressed, bouncing on the balls of my feet in desperation.

When my father was finally dressed, he followed me out of the room and took his medical bag into his own hands, he followed me as I practically ran back to Daphne.

"Justin! Wait!" My father called after me, "where are we going?"

"The staff building!" I told him without thinking, but it was a mistake no matter how urgent it was. He simply stood and stared at me, his expression telling me nothing. I knew from that moment I was in trouble, because nothing was scarier than my father not saying anything. But every second he stood there in silence was one more second of Daphne's life slipping away; we didn't have the time.

"Father, please!" I begged, "someone needs your help."

My father stared at me for a few moments more before he pursed his lips and indicated that I should go on. I felt a tiny amount of relief suddenly, I was half-convinced he was just going to walk away.

I quickly led my father to Daphne's door and was greeted with the sight of Brian, still looking half-crazed and tortured, and Bobby, with his head in his hands. Both, however, looked up when my father and I approached.

"In there." I told him, pointing to the door.

My father turned to all three of us, it was hard not to run immediately to Brian, but my father was there.

"None of you will enter the room until I say so." He commanded, obviously not expecting a reply. He gave Brian and Bobby the coldest look I had ever seen him give and I was suddenly filled with a surge of hatred for the man, but I didn't say anything.

Brian and Bobby didn't seem to care though, they just needed to get Daphne help.

When my father walked into the room and shut the door behind him I immediately ran to Brian and he sunk his head into my neck again.

"It's okay..." I soothed him, stroking his back. "My father will help, Daphne will be fine..."

That couldn't be a lie, but I didn't entirely believe it.

We had to wait a long, long hour before my father emerged from Daphne's room, in that hour, Brian, Bobby and I basically twisted our fingers and prayed for the best. When my father walked out of the room he looked solemn, we were all immediately in front of him.

"Daphne will be fine." He coldly addressed Brian, "you can see her now."

The relief on Brian's face spoke for us all. "Thank you so much, sir." Replied Brian, extending his hand to my father. But my father simply looked at the offering and then walked away. I stared at my father, outraged at this display of disrespect, but Brian and Bobby didn't seem offended, they simply ran into Daphne's room.

I turned to follow them until I heard my father's voice bark out.

"Justin! Come with me!" The anger in his voice was evident and I knew it would be stupid to disobey him, I made a mental note to see Daphne tomorrow and then I joined my father. He was silent for a long moment, but when he spoke to me, his voice was emotionless and he didn't look at me.

"Justin, what is your association with these people?"

I vaguely considered telling my father the truth, but if Brian, Bobby and Daphne's jobs weren't in jeopardy now I had no right to change that. But what I told my father was the truth.

"They're my friends." I told him honestly, no guilt in my voice. How could I feel guilty for loving those people?

My father then turned to me and startled me, eyes of stone. His eyes also burned with disappointment, that tore at my heart.

"Justin, I don't want you fraternising with those people ever again." He commanded me, expecting me to take his word as law.

Out of respect, but who could respect him?

"Now go to bed." And with that, he left me alone and walked into his cabin. But I didn't go to bed, I waited it out for a while and then I walked in the opposite direction...

…

It was only after a few knocks that Brian opened the door to his cabin, he looked surprised to see me. But glad, too.

"Hey," I said, happy to see his face again. "Can I come in?"

Brian let me in immediately and he offered me a seat, when we sat down together I actually felt uncomfortable in his presence for the first time since I'd gotten to know him.

"How is Daphne?" I asked immediately, pleased at the smile that broke out across Brian's face.

"She's fine, she's just fine. Exhausted, though."

"Brian, that's great!" I said, my whole being enveloped with relief.

A mutual relief.

"Look, Brian..." I started tentatively, "I came here because...I wanted to apologise for my father..."

"Justin, don't..." Brian stopped me, holding up his hand, he stood up and leant against the wall. "What your Dad did...that was incredible, I could never do anything like that."

I sighed slightly, I think Brian was incapable of malice. "Yes, but I mean for the way he was with you." I told him, I didn't want Brian to be angry, but I at least wanted him to acknowledge that my father was in the wrong. "I'm sorry about the way my father treated you."

"He was right, Sunshine!" Brian suddenly exploded, causing me to jump slightly. "There was nothing I could do for Daph, I'm nothing!"

"No! You are everything!" I protested, trying desperately to make him understand, even when he was angry he still blamed himself. "You're funny, and you're clever, and ...and you're kind!" I continued, "you, made my life worth living, Brian! You make me want to be a better person, you make me want to be like you!"

Brian stared up at me, suddenly all anger gone. He looked...sad. "You shouldn't feel like that, Sunshine. I want to be like you."

"Why?" I asked incredulously, and Brian ghosted a small smile.

"Because you're not...afraid...!" He told me, his former anger had turned to desperation. "You're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in! And...you're not afraid of being exactly who you are!"

"I'm afraid!" I suddenly exploded at him, unsure where he was getting his facts from. "I'm afraid of everything!" I continued, "I'm afraid of my father, I'm afraid of being gay! But most of all, I'm afraid of leaving this room and never feeling the way I feel when I'm with you!"

I'd crossed the line, I knew I had, but there was no going back now.

"...I love you, Brian." I told him, meeting his hazel eyes as he stared at me. "I love you, and I don't want that to go away."

Brian stared at me for an achingly long moment, and for a second I thought I should leave...I thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life...

But then Brian's lips were crushing against mine and he was kissing me with more passion than he'd ever done before.

I don't know how long it went on for, but I knew I was delirious and I couldn't breath but I also didn't care as we stumbled towards the bed...

_Nice little cliffhanger, there. Updates soon x_


	13. Chapter 13: Endless Abyss

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

A/N: Sorry for leaving you all on such a cliffhanger, but I had to spend a while on this one. Hopefully I'm getting better at this stuff! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 13: Endless Abyss

Brian and I tumbled onto the bed, Brian manoeuvred himself so he was on top of me and his weight pinned me to the bed.

Not that any of this mattered, Brian was kissing me, kissing me like his entire life depended on it. His tongue battled for dominance with mine, and of course he won.

I submitted to him, I think I always would.

But when Brian slid his hand up my shirt and across the planes of my chest, my arousal was marred with a nervousness building up in the pit of my stomach.

The last thing I wanted to do was tell Brian to stop, but a part of me was scared.

Scared of pain, scared of not being good enough.

I wanted to tell Brian I was a virgin, but I didn't know what I was supposed to say.

"Brian...Brian..." I tried, his name falling off of my lips in a breathy moan. "Brian...hold on for a second..."

Brian stopped so immediately that it actually startled me, he brought his eyes to mine and put one hand in my hair and grazed the fingers of his other gently over my lips. Brian stared at me, concern within his deep hazel eyes, his red, swollen lips were almost beckoning me to kiss him again, to fall into this deep, endless abyss that was Brian Kinney and hide in there forever.

"Sunshine?" He asked quietly, his voice, although soft, was obviously ragged with lust. "I...oh, I'm sorry, I thought..." Brian babbled softly as he began to climb off of me.

Without even thinking, my arms flew out on their own accord and wrapped themselves around his neck, bringing him back down to me. His face inches from mine, his breath on my skin, his eyes obviously alive with confusion.

"No! I don't want you to go!" I told him, and I realised that my voice was breathy too, but I was too far gone to be embarrassed.

"I...want this..." I told him, hoping he couldn't hear the shaking in my voice. "But...the thing is...I'm kind of...the thing is...I don't really..."

I looked up into Brian's eyes and was mildly surprised by the small smile playing on his lips, his eyes were ablaze with gentle humour and, and maybe something close to affection.

"What?" I demanded, my nervousness gone as he continued to smile down at me.

"I'm not laughing at you, Sunshine." Brian told me, shaking his head slightly, "are you trying to tell me you're a virgin?"

I felt the hot blush spread across my cheeks, Brian must have been able to feel the heat from it. I hadn't expected him to say it so bluntly.

"I...I...yeah." I finally stammered out, trying to look anywhere but at Brian.

I heard him chuckle slightly and then felt his hand on my cheek, coaxing my eyes back up to his.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," he informed me, the smile still present in his eyes, but it emanated warmth, not mirth.

"Do you want this?" He asked me, "do you want to lose your virginity to me?"

I looked up into his eyes, unable to look away, and I saw the man I'd been spending my holiday with, the man I'd seen, the man I'd gotten to know, the mystery Adonis who had given me the spark of life I needed, and I knew it _was_ what I wanted, and I was ready. Oh God, I was ready.

"Yes." I said, the word barely coming out in a whisper. "This is what I want. I want _you._"

Brian nodded then, more to himself than me. "I'll go slow, I promise. Let me look after you."

I couldn't answer that, and he began to slowly lift my shirt over my head, licking a path up my chest as he went.

I stared down at him, mesmerised by the way his tongue lapped at my pale skin. I felt his mouth close over my left nipple and I let out a surprised moan, the pleasure shocking me back into reality.

As soon as my shirt was over my head, Brian discarded it and sat up to straddle my legs. Never taking his eyes off of mine, Brian slowly undid my belt and unzipped my pants, sliding them off my legs, moving slightly so they could hit the floor.

He straddled me again, taking his own shirt off and throwing it to the floor. I stared up at him, in awe of the rippling bronze muscles that I wanted to run my tongue over. I unconsciously lifted my arms and ran my hands along his chest, feeling the taut muscles quiver under my touch.

Brian dipped his head back down and captured my mouth in a ravaging kiss, not letting me come up for air when I needed too. When he finally pulled away I was dizzy and breathless and suddenly driven by this mindless need, I needed Brian, I needed Brian now.

I reached my hands out again and this time I undid his pants and slid them down his thighs, as far as I could get them. Revealing tight black underwear and taut thigh muscles, Brian looked at what I was doing and shimmed his pants down until they joined mine on the floor.

Brian then reached for my underwear and I felt that nervousness spill in my stomach once again as he pulled them down my leg, revealing my hard cock to his eyes for the first time.

He threw my underwear to the floor and lent down, I watched as his tongue teased his lips in an irresistible way, and then he softly licked the head of my cock.

"Nfhhh..." I moaned, head falling back onto the pillow. I could feel Brian continue with these torturous licks on my member, I whimpered and writhed in the bed sheets, unable to contain the pure pleasure shooting down my spine.

I'd never experienced anything like this before, of all the times I'd touched myself, this was the best pleasure I'd ever had and Brian was giving it to me...

My thought process was completely cut off when I felt my entire cock engulfed in a tight, wet heat.

"Oh God!" I shouted out on instinct, my head fell back against the pillow and my eyes rolled back into my head, but I forced myself to look back at Brian. He had my entire length in his mouth, his swollen lips at the base of my cock, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

After another minute or so, the heat suddenly went and the pleasure stopped, I looked up again to see Brian wiping saliva from his bottom lip, a smile dancing in his eyes.

I whimpered at the loss and Brian laughed good-naturedly at me, he ran his hand through my hair.

"I don't want you to come yet." He explained, "I want to be inside you when you lose control."

Brian could probably make me come just by talking to me alone, but I just nodded at him, to frozen at the loss of pleasure to really argue with anything. He'd made me into jelly.

Brian slowly inched his boxers down his legs and his long, thick, hard cock stood almost against his stomach. I felt that nervousness again, he was so big...this was gonna hurt.

Brian reached over to one of the drawers beside his bed and pulled out a condom and a bottle. He again kept his eyes on me as he ripped the condom rapper open with his teeth and rolled it onto himself.

He drizzled a generous amount of what I realised was lube onto his hand. "Can I open you up?" He asked quietly.

I nodded silently, unable to think of anything else. I watched as Brian reached between my legs with his hand.

"Put your legs up," he instructed me, "on my shoulders." I did as he requested, he took my legs in his hands and helped me put them up on his shoulders.

In this position, I'd never felt more vulnerable, but with Brian here, it really didn't matter.

At first, he pressed lube against my opening and I gasped out. "It's cold!" I told him.

"It'll heat up." He informed me, and I nodded at him, and then I felt his index finger breach the ring of muscle of my entrance, my moan was soundless.

"God, Sunshine..." Brian said raggedly, "you're so fucking beautiful..."

Did Brian just call me beautiful? Wow.

If Brian wasn't causing my body untold amounts of pleasure right now, I probably would have giggled like a school girl. But then I felt a second finger push into my body and suddenly I didn't feel like giggling any more.

The sensation was so strange, the feeling of having something inside me...it sort of burned, but I wasn't sure if it burned in a good way, or if I liked the way it felt. My whole body was rigid at the unexplainable feeling of being filled, of having something inside me. Of having some part of _Brian _inside me.

"Justin...relax. It'll be easier if you relax. I won't hurt you." Brian whispered, barely audible.

I tried to listen to him, I tried to relax my muscles as much as I could. Then, a few moments later, Brian's fingers grazed lightly across what must have been my prostate and I was crying out.

"Oh...oohhhhh! Ahh! Brian! What the fuck was that?"

I looked up to Brian, sweat rolling down my face and saw him grinning.

"That's the spot inside you that makes all of this worth it." He told me, like he was explaining the alphabet to a toddler.

"Can you...do it again?" I asked breathlessly, wanting more of this new sensation.

Brian complied immediately, and I felt pressure against my prostate, more drawn out this time and I keened. I'd never known my body could feel so good, never knew Brian could make me come undone like this.

After a few moments Brian retracted his fingers and I whimpered softly, being empty again felt strange.

Our eyes locked, and I didn't know what was being said but we were silently communicating. I was letting Brian know something and he understood me, but I didn't know what my brain was shouting out.

Brian leant forward and kissed me quickly before he held onto my hips and thrust. My eyes popped at the burn and I writhed into the covers, I gasped loudly, over and over again.

Brian stopped moving immediately, but I could feel him. I could feel him inside me. He was so damn big, it was like he'd just shoved a broom in there.

It was painful, it was big...I was so full...

"It hurts." I gasped out, hands twisted in the sheets, I could feel the sweat drenching my body. "Does it always hurt?"

"A little bit." Brian answered honestly, "but it's a part of it."

I didn't know what he meant by that, but I quickly stopped thinking about it.

"Are you okay? Tell me when you want me to move." The care in his voice nearly tore my heart in two, I told him to be gentle, and he was.

Brian was everything I wanted in my life. And I wanted him now. Suddenly passion burned inside me and I wanted nothing more than Brian, my Brian, my mystery Adonis sheathed inside me completely, making me feel the same pleasure I'd felt before, and I wanted to writhe and moan and make him come harder than he'd ever come before.

"I'm ready." I told Brian, and I clenched my eyes shut as I felt him slide further inside me, I thought it would never end, but finally it did. He stopped moving and before I could think of anything he was kissing me again, hot and fast and I stopped thinking about the pain, the burn. As he kissed me, I felt Brian move again, he began to slid in and out, in and out...slowly, slowly, the pain dulling...

Then suddenly the pain turned to pleasure, I didn't know how and I didn't care, electric jolts of pleasure shot through my body as Brian his my prostate again and again.

"Oh, Oh God...Brian!..." I whimpered, thrashing my head from side to side, hips unconsciously bucking up into him. "Brian...I can't..."

"Are you gonna come?" Brian grunted, never slowing his thrusts.

"Y...yes...!" I moaned breathlessly as moved inside me, "please...Brian, go harder...please..."

Brian suddenly began to thrust harder into me, mercilessly harder and a cry escaped me. I knew I wasn't going to last long.

Brian then reached between us and took my leaking cock into his hand and began tugging sharply in time with his thrusts, never slowing either.

"Brian!" I cried out as my orgasm unexpectedly tore through my entire body, making me see stars. I came in thick ropes of white that splattered both of our chests, clenching around Brian's cock as I rode out my orgasm.

Brian came one thrust later, deep inside of me with a loud groan that became the most erotic noise I'd ever heard.

We both gasped and groaned in time with each other and then Brian collapsed on top of me, completely spent.

After a few moments my breathing began to regulate and I looked at Brian's closed eyes, and smiled.

That was the most incredible experience of my entire life, I loved this man more than I ever thought possible.

Brian opened his eyes and slipped out of me gently, I watched as he tied off the condom and threw it in the trash can, then he turn to face me and we lay, side by side, just staring into each others eyes for a while, both completely satisfied.

"So," began Brian, breaking the silence and smirking slightly. "Was that everything you hoped it would be?"

"Better." I told him honestly, "that was...the most incredible thing that's ever happened to me."

Brian laughed slightly, looking up to the ceiling. Then he turned back to me, his eyes sparkling. "Me too."

I couldn't believe that for almost a full minute. Brian Kinney? Hottest guy ever? There was no way I was the best person he'd had sex with, but with the care I'd heard in his voice and the way he'd looked after me, somehow I could believe him, and that made me feel incredibly special.

Brian didn't say "I love you" back, but his simple "me too" and the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at me seemed to say more, and it was enough for me. Enough right now, in this perfect moment, anyway.

I thought momentarily about bringing up what I'd said before we slept together, but as I looked at the perfect form lying next to me, I realised everything was too perfect for me to risk spoiling it.

So I let it go for the moment and just lay there, allowing sleep to claim us both. I fell asleep wrapped in Brian Kinney's arms, right after he fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me.

_There we go, wild, passionate virginal sex for our star crossed lovers. Hope you like! Tell me what you think if you've got the time xxx_


	14. Chapter 14: Where do we go from here

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Chapter 14: Where do we go from here

The sunlight decided to, very slyly, creep in through the open blinds and fall across my face, forcing me from my content sleep. I suppose it was a good thing though, Brian's bed was so comfy I could have slept there all day.

Every day.

I turned over sleepily, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, only to be met with Brian, very much awake, leaning on his elbow in all his glory, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Morning." Said Brian, sounding seductive even in my sleep-ridden state.

"Morning," I replied sleepily, hoping to God an embarrassing yawn wasn't going to signal it's arrival.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked him, eyebrows knitting together.

Brian shrugged slightly. "About half an hour, maybe more." He grinned slightly, playing with the folds in his quilt. "I haven't really been paying attention to the time."

The quilt lay almost lax against Brian's hips, leaving the V-shape of bone and the contours of his smooth chest for me to devour.

"You didn't have to wait for me to wake up." I berated him, forcing myself to look up at his face, aware of the blush on my cheeks.

Brian didn't respond to me, his smile only grew wider. I couldn't help but smile back slightly, before pulling back the covers and climbing out of the bed. But I didn't manage to make it that far, as I suddenly felt the warmth and unexpected pressure of Brian's arm around my waist, and I let out a small yelp as he tugged me back down to him.

Before I could speak, Brian's lips were on mine, tender and gentle and silencing any complaint I had.

Brian pulled away from me and I was met with his half-cocky, half-totally adorably smirk.

"If you even attempt to get out of this bed, I will be forced to use very persuasive methods to make you stay." I giggled slightly, but couldn't ignore that shiver of arousal that worked its way down my spine. I, again, felt like Brian was a skilled predator and I was his prey. His very willing prey.

I leant forward and kissed Brian again. "I promise to stay," I said, laughing, and in between kisses. "I promise to stay."

"Stay." Brian repeated softly, more to himself than to me. I didn't question it, Brian often spoke to himself, thought about things in his own head for a long time, I'd become used to it.

I merely settled down into his arms and looked up at the bland ceiling, I could feel Brian's chocolate locks tickling the base of my neck as he leant his head against mine.

I was still being flooded with memories from the night before; it felt almost surreal, like it hadn't happened to me. But it had happened to me, and that's what I had to keep reminding myself.

I had lost my virginity last night; Brian had made love to me. And it had been the most perfect night of my life.

"I'd always been sort of scared," I suddenly began, not really sure why I was saying this. "Scared of losing my virginity, I mean." The way we were laying, I couldn't see Brian, but I knew he was listening to me nonetheless.

"Not just last night," I clarified, "but for years."

"Well, if it means anything-" Began Brian, "I'm glad you haven't slept with anyone else."

I heard Brian sigh next to me. "When I was younger," he continued, "I was…very promiscuous. As I got older, I realised it was, stupid. It was empty." I felt Brian shuffle against me. "I guess I wish I'd been more like you in my youth."

Brian chuckled to himself. "I didn't really want to tell you that," his voice then turned serious. "I thought you would think less of me."

"I don't" I assured him, trying to angle my head so I could see his face. "We just think differently, if anything, I wish I'd been more like you. Had more confidence in myself, but there was always this voice in the back of my mind, telling me to wait. So my first time would be with someone I really…well, someone who was really special to me."

Brian then manoeuvred himself so he was staring directly into my eyes. I looked into his hazel orbs, captivated.

"You told me you loved me." Said Brian softly.

I blushed suddenly at this blunt statement. "Yes." It was a dumb answer, but it was the only answer I could think of, really.

Brian didn't say anything; he just continued to stare at me. Something about his gaze kept me there, there was something about his gaze that would always keep me there.

But when I eventually looked away towards the clock I suddenly jumped out of bed, startling Brian with my sudden movement.

"Shit!" I exclaimed quietly, searching around the floor for my clothes.

"Sunshine?" Asked Brian tentatively, humour within his voice.

"I'm going to be late," I told him hurriedly, picking up my top from the floor and struggling into my underwear. "I have to meet my parents for breakfast!"

Behind me I could hear Brian getting out of bed, probably as leisurely as everything else that he did, and walk over to me.

"Calm down." Said Brian soothingly, wrapping his arms around my waist. I blushed as I realised Brian was still very much naked, I giggled a little.

"You're distracting me." I berated him, although there wasn't much fight behind my words.

"Distracting you from what?" Brian laughed, his warm breath ghosting over the sensitive spot on my neck, the sensitive spot he knew all too well about. "Wearing a towel to breakfast?"

I looked down immediately and saw that I was, indeed, holding a towel in my hand, as opposed to my top. I shook my head at myself as I felt Brian move away, still chuckling to himself. I turned to face him and was greeted with my aforementioned top soaring in my general direction. I caught the top and pulled it over my head.

"Thanks." I thanked Brian whilst he slipped his own jeans on. When we were both dressed, Brian spoke again.

"I have to get over to the dance studio and cover Daph's lessons, so I'll walk you to the restaurant."

'Thanks." I smiled at him, but then my smile dropped slightly. "But we can't let my parents see us together."

Suddenly, so suddenly I barely noticed it, there was something close to confusion, or maybe even hurt in Brian's eyes. But then as quickly as it was there it was gone, and he was smiling at me again and he opened the door for me.

We walked in relative but comfortable silence to the restaurant, before sharing a discreet kiss at the door. I watched Brian walk away until he was out of sight then entered the dining hall to greet my family, all the while trying to figure out the look in Brian's eyes.

…

Later that day, I walked into the cabin where Daphne was recovering to see her lying in bed with Brian at her bedside. "Hey." I greeted both of them, Daphne smiled hugely at me.

"Hey Sunshine." Brian greeted, also smiling, but, was I imagining there was something slightly forced behind his smile?

"How are you? Daph?" I asked, relief at seeing her looking healthy, albeit weary, flooding through me.

"I feel fine," Daphne assured me, "your Father says I'm gonna be fine, and I can still have children."

"That's great!" I said, smiling.

"It is," Brian agreed, and while I could hear the genuine happiness and relief in his voice, there was still something off about the way he was acting. Brian's energy and exuberance generally filled the room, but he seemed a bit subdued, a bit sad.

I was about to say something when the door opened and Bobby walked in, I smiled in greeting.

"Hey, Daph, how you doing?" He asked.

"Yeah, fine." Daphne assured him.

"That's great," said Bobby, genuine relief clear in his voice. He then turned to Brian. "Cus, Kellerman is looking for you, he's got a right stick up his ass today."

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Brian acknowledged, rolling his eyes slightly. He moved forward and kissed Daphne on the forehead, promising to come back as soon as he could.

"See you later, Sunshine." Brian winked at me before he was out of the door with Bobby in tow.

"What's up with Brian?" Asked Daphne as I moved to sit down.

"I don't know." I admitted, "but he seems really on edge. He was fine when he woke up this morning…" I realised what I had said as soon as the words were out of my mouth. I looked to Daphne and saw her smiling hugely at me, I blushed.

"Did you spend the night with Brian?" She asked excitedly.

"Yeah," I admitted, smiling despite myself.

"Oh that's so awesome!" Daphne exclaimed, "I'm so happy for you guys! You make such a cute couple!"

I laughed slightly.

"'Cause, as much as I wanted it," she continued, "I never thought Brian would have anything close to a real relationship."

"Because of his youth?" I asked.

Daphne grimaced slightly. "He told you about that?"

"Well, sort of, in passing." I admitted awkwardly.

Daphne nodded in agreement. "Well, Brian's done a lot of growing up, in the relationship department, anyway." She looked like she was thinking to herself for a moment. "It sucks that you have to go back to Chicago soon."

I got suddenly stopped in my thought process and looked up to her. "What do you mean?" I asked tentatively.

She suddenly clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh, crap! I've put my foot in it! I didn't mean to bring it up," she said apologetically, "I just, I've been thinking about it these past few days."

"Yeah," I sighed sadly. "So have I."

…

I took a leisurely stroll up to the staff building that evening, and when I got there, I saw Brian and Bobby clearing out the dance floor from all the instruments and sheet music that had been left behind.

"How come you guys are doing this?" I asked, walking onto the dance floor to help.

"Because everyone else has just fucked off." Brian informed me, that same edge in his voice.

Bobby moved closer to me as we gathered things off of the floor.

"Don't worry about him," he assured me, "he's been really moody all day."

"Why?" I asked confusedly.

"There's this woman," Bobby explained in whisper, "Martha Harris, she's the wife of the one of the fat cats who plays poker with Kellerman and his kid. But she takes dance lessons from Brian, and earlier today when he was covering Daph's lessons, she offered him more money to sleep with her. Brian refused and apparently she pretty much threatened him."

I could feel the disgust deep in my stomach as Bobby concluded his tale. I could barely get the words out. "So, this woman pretty much treated Brian like a hustler?"

"Pretty much." Bobby clarified with raised eyebrows. "It's sick."

Without thinking, I walked up to Brian and wrapped my arms around him. He jumped slightly from the unexpected contact, but then I saw him smile and felt him obligingly place his arms around me, I rested my head in his chest.

"What's the hug for?" Asked Brian.

"You are worth so much more than these people think."

After a moment or two, I felt Brian's hold on me grow tighter. "I'm glad you think so." He half-whispered genuinely.

Being in Brian's arms, I felt every defence I had slip away from me, and suddenly all of my fears were out there too. I held onto Brian tighter than I intended. Then tighter still.

"Justin?" Asked Brian.

It was then I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks, and a sob escaped me. Brian pulled back slightly so I was still in his arms but he could see me. I saw the worry in his eyes.

"Justin? What's wrong?"

"Brian, where do we go from here?" I asked, trying to stop the tears from falling.

Brian stared confusedly at me. "What do you mean?" He asked.

|"I'll have to go home soon…" I told him, my worries finally streaming out, "and we'll be so far apart…"

Suddenly, I was back tightly in Brian's arms again. "It's okay," Brian was saying soothingly in my ear.

"I promise everything will be okay."

I didn't know what he meant by that, but I trusted him, I believed in him.

Even when he didn't believe in himself.


	15. Chapter 15: I want to be yours

He's like the wind

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Chapter 15: I want to be yours

The sun was really beating down in Pittsburgh today, the grass was warm to the touch. The heat was making everyone lazy, so when Brian and I snuck off to our little secluded corner of grass in the dance section, no one paid much attention.

It also meant that our kisses were lazy too. Brian had pulled me on top of him, and I was straddling his waist, leaning down to meet him while he ran his hands up and down my over-heated back.

Our kisses were sloppy, languid. I felt Brian's hot tongue slowly dragging across mine and I moaned deeply into his mouth. The combined heat from the sun and from Brian making me hazy.

I took Brian's bottom lip between my teeth and tugged slightly, hearing him grunt lightly. I felt Brian's hand on the back of my head, twisting into my hair and pulling me down further into him, kissing me harder than he had before.

"Brian..." I groaned, feeling his tongue sliding back into the wet cavern of my mouth, and never wanting that feeling to end.

I felt something in my crotch, a stirring I only seemed to get when I was around Brian. Against my own accord, I rutted against Brian's crotch, searching for any sort of friction. I stilled slightly when I felt Brian, half-hard, beneath me. But I didn't still completely. I heard Brian groan loudly, his hands gripping around my hips, moving me slightly harder against him. I held my breath, overwhelmed by the incredible feeling shooting up my spine.

I knew what I wanted, what I needed. And I wanted it now.

Eyes still closed, still completely lost in Brian's mouth, I trailed my hand down his chest, pausing slightly to trail my hand under his shirt, causing him to shiver.

Then I trailed my hand down to his belt buckle,taking it into my hand.

I suddenly felt Brian pull away from the kiss, I opened my eyes, breathless. I saw him staring up at me, his lips red and swollen.

His eyes never left mine as he ran his hand slowly through my hair. "Sunshine..." he began slowly, I could hear the lust making his voice ragged. "We don't have to go this fast...we can take things slowly. I want you to be sure."

I smiled slightly, letting my fingers tumble through his chocolate locks, I pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"I am sure," I told him honestly, "this is what I want."

Brian smiled slightly. "But we're outside." He said, half-jokingly.

"There's no one here." I reminded him, raising my eyebrows. I let my fingers unbuckle Brian's belt. He didn't say anything to me, but I could feel his heavy breathing against my chest. I kissed him quickly again before I slid down his body, pulling Brian's pants down his thighs. "Justin..." I heard Brian mutter as I slid Brian's boxers down his thighs to bunch with his pants, releasing his straining cock.

I was still in awe at Brian's manhood. I'd never seen another penis aside from mine in my life, but Brian's, it was so big...sometimes I don't even know how I took it, how I wasn't ripped apart. But other times I wanted it inside me, so badly...like right now.

It wasn't just the pleasure Brian gave me that I craved, it was the connection. That feeling of being physically connected to the only person in the world who ever really understood me. The only person I really loved in that way.

I lowered myself down slightly, breathing heavily. Brian had done this to me before, but I'd never done this before.

Part of me knew Brian wouldn't judge me if I screwed up on my first time giving head, but part of me wanted to impress Brian, to make him appreciate me like I appreciated him.

I tentatively stuck my tongue out and touched the tip of Brian's cock. I slowly enclosed my mouth around the head of Brian's cock, I felt him shudder beneath me and I thought that I must be doing something right.

I sucked lightly on the head, bobbing my head up and down slightly. I waited a few more moments, building up my courage to take more of his cock into my mouth.

Unfortunately, I was a bit too enthusiastic and took more of Brian's cock into my mouth than I could really take. I choked slightly as the tip of Brian's cock dipped into my throat.

"Jesus, Justin!" Brian gasped out breathlessly, trembling beneath me. I laughed internally despite myself, allowing his cock to slip from my mouth, with an obscene "pop" that I cringed at.

I crawled back up Brian's body, meeting him in a kiss. "Justin." He said, looking overjoyed.

"Do you have a condom?" I asked Brian quietly, eyes heavy-lidded with lust.

The joy in Brian's face suddenly disappeared, it was replaced with the lust that I felt.

"Wallet." He breathed out.

After I had successfully retrieved the condom from Brian's wallet, I ripped the wrapper open. Brian stared into my eyes, not saying anything as I rolled the condom onto Brian's erection, feeling how the condom was soaked in lube and slippery to the touch.

I knew this would probably be more unpleasant without being prepared first, but I didn't care. I needed this, now.

I raised myself up on my knees, pulling my own pants and boxers down and pulling them off one leg.

Brian reached up and placed his hands on my hips, helping me, guiding my down. I lowered myself down, feeling Brian's cock breach the first ring of my muscles.

Brian groaned and threw his head back at the feeling, it wasn't painful, just a little uncomfortable. I continued lowering myself down until I was fully seated on Brian, I felt so unbelievably full and it was everything I wanted.

I stayed completely still, eyes closed as the pain slowly changed to pleasure. "Justin," I heard Brian groan, I opened my eyes to see his. Wide open, pupils dilated.

I began to rock slowly, groaning as I felt Brian's cock graze against my prostate. I tried to muffle my cries, but I couldn't. I could hear Brian grunting erotically underneath me, his hands so tight on my hips I knew they'd be bruised.

I rocked faster then, too engrossed in the pleasure, and the pleasure I was giving Brian. I slid slightly off of Brian's cock, only a few inches, before plunging back down again, feeling the girth of it re-enter my tight body. I groaned wantonly, lifting myself up and plunging myself down again, over and over, faster and faster. It got to the point where Brian's cock was making contact with my prostate on every, thrust, the almost constant pressure against my sweet spot was too much for me to handle. The pleasure was starting to tip me over the edge.

I began to roll my hips slightly in time, I was so close...

"Brian..." I whimpered, throwing my head back as my orgasm electrocuted it's way up my spine, I jolted, my muscles clenching around Brian.

"Justin!" Brian shouted out, shooting inside me, I felt his legs jolting underneath me.

I breathed heavily as Brian's grip on my hips grew lax. I slowly brought myself off of Brian's softening cock, I collapsed onto the floor next to him.

Brian then turned to face me and kissed me. "That was incredible." He said against my lips.

"Sorry about your shirt." I said, embarrassed at the stain I made when I'd come.

Brian just laughed.

I smiled slightly to myself as I reached for my pants and boxers, discarded haphazardly beside us, tossing Brian's own clothes to him. I surprised myself that I done that, not only taken control of the sexual situation, but also done it outdoors. Brian was right, anyone could have walked in on us. I guess being with Brian made me feel reckless. Well, no, not _reckless..._braver.

I turned on my back, fully clothed, to see Brian doing his belt buckle back up. As I met his hazel eyes I became aware that I was blushing.

Brian smiled brightly at me, cheeks still flushed, as he pulled me into him, I lay on his chest. Cuddled up after we made love.

"Someone's coming out of their shell." Brian joked, smile evident in his voice. I angled my head up to look at him. Brian's eyes were sparkling. I leant in and kissed him...

"Justin...are you around?"

I broke away from Brian immediately. I knew that voice...

"Isn't that your Dad?" Asked Brian, confusion in his eyes.

I nodded quickly, that was my Father alright..."He's looking for me," I said, looking around, "he must have called from the cabins..." I got to my feet quickly, grabbing my trainers and shoving them on my feet, flustered. "I have to go. Before he comes here." I babbled out quickly.

"Sunshine, calm down." Said Brian, grabbing my hand, I looked down to him, feeling myself relax slightly.

"We can be seen together," he reminded me, "we are friends, right?"

"Of course we are." I said, smiling.

"Justin! I need to talk to you." Came my Father's voice again.

"I have to go," I said quickly, taking my hand out of Brian's, trying to ignore the hurt look on his face as I rushed on my heel to meet my Father. Trying to think up where I tell him I've been, and leaving Brian alone on the grass.

…

After my Father had finally finished discussing the fishing trip he wanted me to go on with him and Mr. Kellerman, I turned back again and headed for the secluded spot Brian and I spent a lot of our time. As I was walking, I realised I needed to apologise to Brian. He wouldn't be expecting an apology, I knew that, but I wanted to give him one.

I shouldn't have run off, but after the stupid thing I did on the grass, I didn't want my Father thinking the wrong thing. Or, the right thing, I suppose. Brian would understand, Brian always understands.

I reached the patch of grass, still as hot as it had been before I'd left, except Brian wasn't there. He must have gotten bored of being in the sun, or maybe he had to go and do something.

I resolved to walk to the staff only building to seek him out.

Once I'd reached the staff only building, enjoying watching the sparkling lakes on my walk there, I walked in and it didn't look like Brian was there either. I knew Brian wouldn't have gone back to his cabin. He had things to do. I scanned the large room, the main dance floor of the staff building, until I saw a familiar face.

"Hey, Bobby!" I greeted, walking across to meet him.

"Hey, Justin." Said Bobby, he looked like he was writing lists onto a clip board.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Yeah, okay, overloaded with work." He laughed, if there was one thing I'd say was Bobby's best feature, it was his smile.

"You?"

I shrugged slightly, "not to bad," I admitted, "I have to go on this boring fishing trip with my Father and your boss."

Bobby laughed at the look on my face. "Just sneak off with Brian," he advised. "Better than an afternoon with Kellerman."

I had to agree.

"Speaking of which..." I asked, "have you seen Brian? I was supposed to see him earlier but I got called away..." I trailed off, still embarrassed.

"He's down at the club house in the dance section," Bobby said, "got called down there about 15 minutes ago. Meeting Daph's replacement for the Mambo number."

"Oh," I said in acknowledgement, "thanks, Bobby."

"No worries." He said, smiling again, before I took off to the club house.

I must have looked very strange walking all over the complex, but when I reached the glass doors of the club house entrance and saw Brian leaning against one of the tables, arms crossed, none of that mattered.

I was about to open the doors and walk in when I heard voices, I looked in and saw that Brian was talking to a woman sat at one of the tables, clearing not a woman who worked there. Neither of them had seen me, so I hung back and didn't open the doors. But I could still hear their conversation, even though I didn't particularly want to.

"It's my last night on Friday," the woman was saying, grinning, "maybe you could stop by my cabin and give me a proper fair well."

Seriously, was she coming on to him? I felt anger and a bit of jealously, but forced it down, knowing it was useless. I saw Brian was smiling at her, but the smile was obviously very forced.

"Now, Andrea-"he began, "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Andrea" leant forward in her seat, "I can make it worth your while."

That's when I saw Brian's expression change. That made it the second time, or at least the second time to my knowledge, that someone had treated Brian like a hustler. The muscles in Brian's jaw tightened to the point of pain. His smile was gone, and I could see he was fighting to keep his temper down. I wanted to barge in through the doors and defend him but that wouldn't help anyone.

"Andrea, I'm not a hustler," he said in a hard voice, "and besides, I'm...spoken for."

The muscles in Andrea's face tightened as she got up and walked away from Brian, I heard her mutter words to him that sounded dangerously like, "you'll pay for this."

I stopped outside of the door for a moment. Brian said he was spoken for. Brian said he was spoken for by me.

…

"She seems really good," I said, slipping my hand into Brian's as we walked back from Daphne's cabin. We'd been in there for over an hour, and Daphne was making such an amazing recovery, it was almost like nothing had happened to her. She said that Father had said she'll be able to get out of bed in a few days, in that respect, I owed my Father everything.

Brian was so happy, talking to her and basking in the fact that she was okay. It struck me that Brian didn't feel any anger towards my Father or towards the way he treated him. Brian only saw him as the man who had saved his best friend. I so admired that, I wished I had that view.

"I know," Brian replied, sounding happy and relieved, swinging our entwined hands between us.

"And she'll be up and about in a few days..." I heard voices and looked up ahead of the path to see my Father walking with Molly, holding her hand and pointing out the different trees for her.

It didn't look like he'd seen us. I quickly dropped Brian's hand from mine and dragged us both behind the nearest building. "Sunshine...!" Brian exclaimed in shock, he must not have seen my Father. I watched from the building until my Father and Sister disappeared from sight, I laughed slightly and turned back to Brian. He looked confused.

"That was a close one." I said, "sorry," I gestured to the path, "my Father was out there."

"Yeah, I saw him." Brian told me, and in that moment I swear Brian was kind of, pissed off. I'd never seen Brian pissed off before.

"Brian?" I asked worriedly, "what's wrong?"

Brian shook his head slightly. "I don't see you ever telling your Father that I'm your guy."

That was the last thing I expected Brian to say to me, the very last thing.

"I..." I began, completely shocked, not sure what to say. "I will tell my Father, " I told Brian, "I will, I'm just, I'm scared...I thought you knew that."

Brian sighed and ran his hand through his hair angrily. "I do know that, Justin!" He said, still angry. Not shouting, but still angry. "I know, believe me I know what it's like having to keep this secret. And I didn't mind keeping it to myself because it was only my business...but," Brian sighed again, anger draining from his voice. "I don't want to be in secret with...you."

"Brian," I began, "I know it's bad, and I don't want to be in secret with you, because I know it's inconvenient..."

The anger was suddenly back in Brian's voice. "I don't want us to be a secret because it's inconvenient, I don't want us to be a secret because I love you!"

My brain literally couldn't think of anything for an entire minute.

There was no way I could be living in a world where this incredible Human being would love me.

There's no way I could be living in a world where I got the only thing I ever wanted.

"Do you mean that?" I asked quietly.

The anger was gone from Brian, he was just staring into my eyes with a look of resigned vulnerability.

"Yes." He said.

I reached out slowly with my hand and placed it on his cheek, stroking the soft skin. Our eyes never left each others as he placed a hand on top of mine, and slowly bent down and pressed a soft, perfect kiss to my lips.

As we stood there in the sunset, lips pressed together, I forgot every problem that surrounded me.


	16. Chapter 16: Family ties

He's like the wind

Chapter 16: Family ties

I struggled momentarily with the weight of the stage light I was holding, before weaving my way in and out of the dirty dancers who were busy at work inside the dance hall of the staff building.

I finally arrived at Gina, the leader of this whole operation, and gave her a small smile.

"Where should I put this?" I asked.

She looked at the heavy stage light for a moment, as if contemplating. I'd only spoken to Gina a few times but she was officially one of the most bubbly people I'd ever met.

"Give it to Brian." She finally decided.

"Oh I see..." Came a voice out of the crowd, I turned to see the very man, Brian Kinney, stride into the open space between Gina and me. He was glowing in a bright white t-shirt that made his bronze skin even more prominent, he was also rolling his eyes.

"Give all the heavy stuff to me?" He asked.

Gina merely grinned and winked at him.

Brian shook his head good-naturedly before leaning down and taking the light out of my arms, I hadn't realised how much they'd been aching until they were empty.

"Thanks," I said.

Brian gave me his patented smirk. "No problem, at least it wasn't a watermelon this time."

Brian laughed as I felt the blush creep up over my cheeks before he disappeared into the crowd once again.

All of this was in aid of a party, Daphne's welcome back party.

I smiled as I thought of her, I couldn't help it, seeing her back in full health was all I could ask for, and it was all down to my Father.

"What's wrong?" I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt Brian snake his warm arms around my waist and felt his breath ghosting across my skin.

"Oh, nothing." I said finally. "why?"

"You just looked a little bit forlorn," he admitted, I felt him shrug.

I guess that's just what happened every time I thought about my family, about how I'd gotten everything I'd ever wanted here but I'd also become alienated from them.

I twisted around in Brian's arms so I could see his face, I smiled as I saw his hazel eyes staring at me with a look of concern. "I'm fine, really. Just thinking. Besides, this is a happy day, Daph's okay."

A small smile crept across Brian's face at the mere mention of her name, he nuzzled into my neck. "Yeah," he half-whispered against my skin.

A couple stopped in front of us, I didn't really know them that well, all I knew was that the man's name was Charlie, but his girlfriend was staring at us with a look of awe on her face.

"You guys are so cute." She said.

I didn't reply, I wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that. Brian, however, stepped in and saved me.

"Thanks, Kel, you know me."

She gave him a look of playful disdain before the couple moved on to whatever tasks Gina had them performing.

I looked at Brian and he kissed me lightly on the temple. "Come on, Sunshine," he began, "let's go and collect the invalid."

…

Brian and I walked in comfortable silence to Daphne's cabin, I was quite happy to sketch out the contours of his forearm with my hand, despite how much he told me it tickled.

There was just too much of Brian to worship, no matter how long we were together I'd never be able to commit all of him to memory.

When we reached the cabin, Brian opened the door and Daphne was laying on her bed talking to Bobby who was perched on the end of it.

The pair gave us a smile as we entered the room, although I could swear I saw a faint blush manifest on Bobby's cheeks the moment we entered.

Confused, I stared at the both of them until I noticed that Bobby and Daphne were holding hands.

Everything clicked into place suddenly, I turned and saw Brian grinning like a cat that had got the cream.

Bobby immediately dropped Daphne's hand and stood up.

"Hey Bri, hey Justin." He greeted, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Brian was smiling so widely it actually looked like he was incapable of replying so I spoke first.

"Hey, Bobby." I said.

"Is everything."..?" He trailed off, obviously referring to the surprise party back at the staff building.

I nodded, smiling. "Yep, all sorted."

Bobby nodded. "Good, good," he said, looking like he had no idea what to say next.

Brian, who had apparently found his voice, spoke up from behind me.

"We just wanted to quickly check on you, Daph." He began, "make sure you're okay."

Daphne nodded, beaming at him. "Yeah, I feel fine."

Brian's smile returned, but this time it was for a different reason.

"Well, anyway," he began, seizing my hand, "me and Sunshine have a dance lesson to get to, so we'll see you tonight."

Before either of them could respond, Brian had hauled me out of the door and back into the sunshine.

As soon as we were out of earshot of the cabin, all it took was one look at each other before we both burst into a fit of joyous laughter.

"Do you think there's something going on between them?" I asked eventually as Brian pulled me into his arms.

"I don't know," he admitted, "but it looks like it."

I hugged Brian back for a minute before pulling away. "Are you okay with that?" I asked.

Brian stared at me for a moment, almost like he wasn't sure what I was asking him.

Seeing as I was used to his long silences, I didn't take it as anything bad.

After a moment, he spoke.

"Bobby is the only member of my biological family that I really care about," he admitted, "and he's stuck with Daph through this whole pregnancy thing, through everything."

I nodded, Brian merely shrugged.

"I guess all I ever wanted for her was for her to find a decent guy like that."

I nodded again, "yeah, you're right." I momentarily thought back to all of the things Bobby had done, how, in a way, he'd been my first friend here. "They deserve each other," I finally decided.

…

"Justin, where the hell are you taking me?" Daphne asked mock-frustratedly, trying to peak out from behind her blindfold.

I batted her hand away as gently as I could. "Will you stop peaking?" I asked incredulously, "we'll be there in a minute, you're the most impatient person I know."

Daphne huffed before she smiled.

"Hey, Justin," she began, gripping my hand a little tighter as I guided her over the steps to the entrance of the staff building.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she began, "for everything you've done for me, for everything you've done for all of us."

My eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked, "I haven't really done anything."

She tsked at me. "Are you kidding? You saved my life, you gave Brian a reason to smile everyday...I'm just really glad you're a part of our lives."

I was silent for a moment. "Yeah, me too." I replied quietly.

Luckily, I didn't have to think about it any more as we reached the entrance to the dance hall.

I pushed the door open with one hand whilst leading Daphne inside.

"Okay, stop." I said, Daphne stopped. I looked around the room, everyone was ducked out of sight behind the furniture but I could still see the odd foot and arm, I rolled my eyes to myself.

I stepped behind Daphne, one hand on the light switch.

I took of her blindfold and switched the light on.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone shouted, jumping out. Daphne momentarily looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed, putting her hand on her forehead. "Jesus," she exclaimed again as everyone gathered around her.

Everyone began chattering away excitedly to her, asking all sorts of questions, but they were all silenced by Brian wading his way through the crowd and picking his best friend up in a bear hug,

Daphne clung onto him and I saw a few stray tears fall from her eyes.

"I love you," Brian told her, and the simple words took me back to Brian saying the same thing to me. Sometimes life was so strange, all these different types of love and yet it all really boiled down to the same thing. We all needed each other to survive.

I shook my head, this was about Daphne.

"I love you, too," she told him, beaming despite her tears. She wiped her nose. "What's all this about?" She asked.

"Welcoming you back," I supplied.

Another tear fell from Daphne's eyes. "I'm not sad," she clarified, "I just...wow."

Somewhere behind them, music began to play.

Daphne laughed and tugged on Brian's arm. "Do you get the first dance?" She asked.

Brian cocked his head to the side for a moment like he was thinking.

"Actually..." he began, "I've got a better idea."

Brian pulled in a member of the crowd I hadn't noticed before. Bobby.

Brian essentially pushed Daphne and Bobby into each other, I watched Daphne blush as Bobby took her hand and lead her into the middle of the floor before I noticed Brian had slipped away into crowd.

Following suit, I followed him until I found him again.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," Brian replied, holding a hand out to me. I took his hand and he lead me outside of the double doors.

It was cool outside and the sky was dotted with stars, but Brian was the most beautiful thing I could see.

"That," I began, gesturing to the dance hall, "with Daphne and Bobby, that was smooth."

"Yeah," Brian agreed, smile still in place. "I did need to talk to you, though."

"Oh," I said before I could help myself. "What's up?"

Brian itched the back of his neck lightly. "I just wanted to apologise," he admitted, "you know, for being angry with you the other night."

"Brian..." I began, but he cut me off.

"No, I get it, I do. It's not easy telling your parents."

"I know how hard this is to keep a secret," Justin said, "I really do, I know it's frustrating..."

Brian nodded. "Yeah, I know," he laughed slightly to himself. "You just make me so happy," he admitted, "a part of me wants to shout it out for everyone to hear."

He chuckled again and shook his head to himself.

I smiled at him, I was sure he could see the love in my eyes.

"Would your parents have a major problem with you being gay?" Brian asked eventually, "or would they have a problem with me being lower class?"

I sighed sadly to myself, I reached out and took Brian's hand in mine, it was warm to the touch. It was always warm to the touch.

"I'm not sure," I told him, "my Father just seems to hate anyone different to him, but I like to think my Mother understands."

Brian met my eyes with a warm half-smile.

"What?" I asked.

Brian shrugged. "Nothing," he said, "you just really care about what your Mother thinks about you, but not your Father."

I nodded sadly. "Yeah, it's just, my Mother is so passionate and so clever, she's just weighed down by my Father and I hate that."

Brian placed an arm around me and squeezed me reassuringly. "I don't want to screw up your relationship with your family."

I shook my head immediately, it was so Brian to blame himself for everything. "You wont, okay? I love you," I told him, he smiled sadly. "More than anything," I clarified, "you can't see it and I hate that, but you brought me to life, I don't want to give you up. But even if I did come out to my parents, you'd lose your job..." I sighed frustratedly, "this is all such a big mess."

Brian just hugged me tighter, "don't worry," he said against my skin, "we won't be here forever."

I sighed internally but I couldn't help but agree in melancholy.

….

Daphne finally made her way over to me, laughing about something.

"Hey," I said, smiling, "you enjoying yourself?"

Daphne nodded. "This is amazing, Justin."

I grinned to myself, "how did the first dance with Bobby go?"

Daphne immediately blushed and I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Daph," I told her, "you don't have to be embarrassed, I'm really happy for you."

A small smile played on her lips and she pulled me into a hug. "Thanks," she said.

"It's good to have you back." I replied.

When we pulled apart, Brian joined us.

Daphne laughed, "okay, you can have your boyfriend back now." She said, making her way to someone else.

I grinned as I watched her go.

"She tire you out?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Brian scowled at me. "You'd think she wasn't even sick." He said.

I smiled at him. "It's good to see you smiling again," I admitted, and it really was. This was the first time since all of this had happened that I'd seen Brian really without a care.

Brian gave me his half-cocky, half-totally adorable grin before dragging me out into the dance floor.

I laughed as we began swaying to the music, my mind was taken back to when I'd first seen him and Daphne dancing and wishing it was me in his arms.

But that was such a long time ago.

Brian ran a hand through my hair, smiling at me.

"I love you, Sunshine." He said.

I smiled hugely at him, and before he could say anything else, I leaned in and kissed him.

"Justin!"

I immediately pulled away from Brian, startled. He looked confused, I looked to try and see who had called me.

Stood there in the middle of the crowd was my Mother, a look of complete shock on her face.


	17. Chapter 17: An unexpected turn of events

He's Like The Wind

Chapter 17: An unexpected turn of events.

I watched in horror as my mother turned on her heel and walked out of the building.

I pulled myself away from Brian and shot after her.

"Justin!" He tried to call after me but I was beyond listening. I vaguely heard Daphne say, "Brian, let him go," before I'd left them behind and my mother's retreating back came into view.

"Mother!" I called after her, but she didn't stop.

"Mother!" I called again, my voice echoed eerily in the quiet evening.

"Mom!"

She stopped suddenly and I stopped too, a few paces behind her. Despite my best efforts to get her attention, I was now suddenly afraid of her turning around . What was she going to say? That I was a disgrace, that I was disgusting, that I was no longer a Taylor?

All she did was shake her head at me, but it wasn't disappointment in her eyes, it was anger.

"Justin..." She began.

"Look, I can't help it." I found myself saying suddenly. I could almost see everything crashing down around me. "I'm gay, Mother. I'm gay, and I'm in love and I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you but I can't be blamed for those things."

"Justin, I'm not angry with you." She said suddenly, cutting me off in my rambling. "I mean, I am." She clarified, looking suddenly troubled. "But I'm not angry that you're gay, I always knew you were, I'm angry because you lied to me!"

I froze, I couldn't believe what I had just heard. "You knew I was gay?" I said, voice barely above a whisper.

She nodded slowly.

I suppose what I should have felt was relief, relief that she wasn't angry that I was gay but all I felt was anger.

"You knew?" I began angrily. "You knew I was gay all this time and you let me do it alone? You made me go through years of my life feeling bad and feeling wrong and thinking I had no one on my side!"

"Justin, calm down..." She began, putting her hands out as if to hold me.

"How on earth was I supposed to be honest with you if I thought I was going to be kicked out of the family for it?" I asked, forcing my voice to remain calm.

I watched her closing her eyes momentarily in what I assumed to be regret. "I wanted you to be comfortable enough to tell me yourself." She said quietly, not looking at me.

I shook my head. "I was never going to be comfortable, you should have seen that. In fact, the only time I have ever been comfortable in my life is here, with Brian and Daphne and Bobby; my real friends."

I'd meant to hurt her, I knew I'd meant to hurt her with that remark but when I saw her open and close her mouth in shock I felt immediately guilty.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, feeling tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "Mom, I love you, you know I do. But sometimes...I wish you would stand up for me more, stand up to Dad when he's horrible to you, and to Molly...I wish I didn't feel so alone all the time."

I watched her eyes glaze over with moisture.

"Justin, honey, what do expect to come from all of this? From someone like Brian Kinney. He can't provide for you, he can't look after you. This is just a fling, I'm sure you don' t love him."

"You've never judged anyone on their class before." I stuttered, taken aback.

"It's different because it's about you."

I felt the blood in my veins run cold, of all of the things my mother was, I didn't think blind was one of them.

"It's never about me," I told her simply, trying to stop the tears flowing down my cheeks. "Because if it was, all you would care about is my happiness, regardless of the situation. That's what everyone else's mothers do!"

"You can't be this naïve, Justin. That isn't how the world works and you know it..."

"Shut up!" I shouted. I don't think I'd ever shouted at my mother before but the emotion was swirling around in my stomach at the speed of light and I couldn't stop myself.

Mother didn't look as shocked as I thought she would, it was now that she looked disappointed. I felt a pit form in my stomach where the anger had been.

"We're going back to Chicago soon," she began emotionlessly, "and Brian is going to a different job in a different state. This will all be over soon so I see little point in telling your father."

I could feel the ice in her voice from where I was standing and, as a result, found I had nothing to say.

I watched in silence as she turned and walked away, leaving me standing there alone.

…

I watched Daphne toss and turn between sighs in front of me.

"Will you stop moving?" I instructed, taking out an eraser to change the mistake I'd made in the curve of her cheek when she'd moved.

"Sorry," she said, lying still. She sounded glum.

"Cheer up," I said, concentrating as my pencil flew across my sketch paper. "You'll be able to go back to dance lessons tomorrow."

She huffed, causing her to move again.

I shook my head.

"You are a truly useless model." I told her, causing her to laugh. I smiled to myself, glad I'd gotten a happy sound from her at last.

"I don't like the idea of Brian dancing with someone else." She admitted, jealousy seeping into her voice.

I raised an eyebrow.

"How do you think I feel?" I asked rhetorically.

I expected her to laugh again but instead she went quiet.

"So, what happened with your mother last night?" She asked.

I sighed under my breath, I didn't really want to talk about last nights enlightening conversation with my mother, but it looked like I didn't have much choice.

"Nothing much," I shrugged, "she said she didn't have any problem with me being the way I am, she cares that Brian isn't rich. To be honest, I'm not sure what annoys me more."

"It's only natural to want the best for your kid." Daphne reminded me. "I'm sure I'd have felt the same if I'd gone through with my..." She suddenly went quiet, presumably at the memory of her ordeal.

I cast my sketchpad aside and instinctively crossed the room to her, putting my arms around her.

"Hey, it's okay." I began, "everything is going to be okay. You're going to be a great mother some day, just like you were to me."

That seemed to cheer her up as she smiled and hugged me back.

"I'm really gonna miss you when you go, Justin." She said quietly.

"I'm going to miss you, too." I replied, pulling away, I really, really didn't want to think about it anymore than I had to. "Where are you guys going to go?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little guilty that I hadn't even thought about it. "Once the season's over, I mean."

She shrugged. "I don't know, we never really know. That's a part of it's charm, I guess."

"I can't be that charming though," I admitted. "I bet you miss home, wherever it is. Brian mentioned friends once that he never sees because he's always on the road."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Don't you, or Brian, or Bobby ever think about...settling down somewhere?"

She looked like she was thinking for a moment. "I suppose I've never found a reason to," she admitted, "and I don't think Brian ever did, either. But I know he'd never leave me on my own."

I had to concede.

"Yeah, that's true." I said. "Brian really loves you."

She nodded.

"Yeah, he does. But he really loves you, too." She smiled at me. "It'll all work itself out, I promise."

I truly wished I could believe her, and I pretended to, if only for a moment.

"Hey, when you're done drawing me, can we go for a walk?" She asked, eyes staring sweetly up at me. "I miss the outside."

I couldn't say no.

…

Daphne admired her finished portrait as we walked along one of the green embankments, the sun was beating down and making the water glisten and I found it hard to stay upset.

Daphne was talking idly and tried my best to concentrate on what she was saying, rather than let my mind wander to my mother or to leaving or to anything else.

I closed my eyes, I just wanted to enjoy the...

"Sunshine!"

I opened my eyes immediately as Brian came into view, jogging across the grass to meet us.

Before I could say anything, Brian had swept me up in his arms. I suddenly forgot all of my worries as he held me.

When he put me down I was met by his face-splitting grin.

"What is it?" I asked, my own smile breaking out across my face.

"I..." But before Brian could even begin his sentence, we were interrupted by the approaching figures of Mr. Kellerman, his son, a few faces I didn't recognise but one that I did.

A woman. I knew her, I just couldn't quite recall where from.

"That's the man!" She called out suddenly as she neared us, getting everyone's attention.

She pointed at Brian, whose eyes widened at the sudden declaration.

"The guy who assaulted me!"

My mind presented me with the information I'd forgotten.

Andrea.

I remembered how she'd sneered at Brian that she would 'make him pay', and apparently the time had come.


End file.
